Monday, December 31, 2007

Last Post of 2007

It's true!

Adult Swim's contract to show Futurama ends tonight. :( I really love that show and it's so sad that I won't be able to watch it all the time. It's been really nice to watch the marathons on all weekend, but the last episode they're showing ends tonight at 10. I'm going to try and find the seasons on DVD so I can watch them whenever I want.

So at work yesterday morning, I ended up fixing my knee in the worst way possible. My foot got caught on a box when I was climbing over one of the conveyor belt things in the stockroom that I have to climb over to get to my stock.I hit right by my knee really hard and it instantly swelled. Here's what it looks like now. The weird black things are because my camera phone sucks, haha.

Pretty bad right? My theory is all the pressure that had built up in my knee got released into the bruise, because my knee is 100% better now.

On a super happy note, I get to see Theron tonight. He's picking me up from work and coming over for the night. I'm so glad that both of us have tomorrow off to be able to spend together. After that, I know for sure that I'll be able to see him on the 10th for dinner and after he moves back into his dorm a week later. And no, it's not because he's sooo sweet that I have to see him sparingly.

Well I'm off to shower before work. Enjoy your last day of the year!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Damn Knee

That's right, my left knee officially sucks.

Ugh. All night it was difficult to sleep because of my knee. This morning, I knew I was in real trouble though. When it hurts to get up and go to the bathroom because your knee doesn't want to move, that's pretty sad.

Long story short, I ended up wrapping my knee and crying in my mom's room... then unwrapping my knee because it didn't make it any better and probably hurt it worse. The pain kept getting worse, as did my fears about my knee. It's never really hurt quite this bad before - even when it was -50 degrees Fahrenheit and I had to be outside.

Lately it's been feeling as though my leg from the kneecap down was dead, although I had full control over it and it worked. I remember when I was little and first learning about all the other children with JRA who had to be in a wheelchair before age 8. I was determined to stay out of one. Right now, my biggest fear is that I'll be in one sooner than my 40s, 50s, or 60s... much much sooner.

The thought of having to continue school in a wheelchair absolutely frightens me. Carroll isn't wheelchair accessible at all... not many schools are these days, which is a pretty sad commentary on our world. So then I'd lose my scholarships there. Gah, I don't even want to think about it anymore.

I ended up taking one of my dad's hydrocodone pills. I hate taking them, but the pain was just so bad. I don't like being high, feeling that way. It feels wrong.

I hope it feels better in the morning. I wish Theron was here to hold me and tell me I'll be okay. I always seem to be stronger with him around, braver too.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


Christmas was super fun.

Christmas Eve, we went to my grandparents' house and everyone was way more well behaved than usual. My alcoholic cousin was even not drinking as much! She spiked his Game Fuel, which, believe me, tastes a lot better without the vodka. Ugh. Theron was very quiet the whole time, but everyone seemed to like him a lot.

Theron's house was nice and calm compared. I didn't expect to get so much from his family, and I really felt welcomed. Theron got me a Nightmare Before Christmas ornament and a cute animal picture Love book... and the cutest card ever.

It hit me after a comment my mom made and the resulting conversation about it in the car with Theron that this is the best thing that could've happened to me. That man out working right now, earning money to no doubt try and spoil me with, he's like a dream, a dream come true. He makes me smile the biggest I ever have, laugh the hardest - everything is better. I feel like a princess, like everything that has ever happened to me - no matter how unpleasant - has led me here. And I don't even care if we end up together - god, it would be so nice, and I would love nothing more - but if we don't, I know that I'll be okay, that we'll be okay. It was so hard after Nando and I broke up and I didn't think I'd find anyone as good. I thought that I'd end up falling back into being who I was before, a person I didn't like. But when I walked into that room and saw Theron sitting there, my knees buckled and I felt dizzy. I knew there was something special about him, about his gorgeous eyes, his amazing smile, and his witty jokes.

Part of me feels so lonely right now because I know I won't get to see him for a week at least.And I know he's sad too, I can feel it. But I know that if we can make it through the rest of the winter, despite jealousy or loneliness or any of that, that we'll be fine.

I love you Theron Jay, no doubt about that. Nothing is ever gonna change it. Don't worry.

The future is far away right now and there's no telling what it'll bring. All you can do is enjoy the time that you have here and hope that it turns out the way that you dream.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas Full of Sunshine

The other night at work I got a lamp that simulates real sunshine. It has got to be one of the best things I've ever gotten myself. I've had it on all day when I'm in my room since I got it It's definitely a lot cheaper than going tanning and doesn't result in cancer...

On another note, I'm going up to Theron's house for Christmas this year. He's coming over tonight so we can open presents with him and then we're going to my grandparents house to have dinner and open presents over there, and then we leave for his house. Tomorrow his dad's family and his mom's sister and boyfriend are coming over. I'm excited to be a part of their family Christmas.

Before I get to the crappy part of the last couple of days, I just want to wish you all Merry Christmas!

Ah, and now to my family drama...
After a three hour talk with Mike the other night, he decided to play a game with Kelsey called who can hit the softest. Well, all of us being innocent, we thought it was gonna be a nice game. So she barely touches him, he says "You win" and hits her as hard as he fucking can. She has a terrible bruise on her arm, most of it not having any color yet because of how hard he hit her. We were all upset when he hit her, but didn't realize how very hard it was. I'm not entirely sure of the outcome last night, but there was a serious fight between my parents and him about hitting her and being respectful.

I hope he leaves. Nothing has been peaceful since he got here, and all he does is cause more drama than we've ever had here.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Jamie Lynn Spears

Ah... yes, I have decided to throw my hat in the ring of people talking about the poor, 12-weeks pregnant, 16-year-old sister to the infamous Britney.

In her interview with OK! Magazine, Jamie Lynn indicates long time boyfriend Casey Aldridge as the father of the baby. A good boyfriend, he tries to be around her whenever possible, even driving out to the studio during filming of her hit Nickelodeon series Zoey 101 to see her and watch her work. He tries to impress her family whenever he can, and has done a great job - they embrace the 18-year-old as a member of their family.

There have been talks about Casey being charged with statutory rape. This is not the case. He is in the three year age range where it is okay to be having relations with Jamie Lynn. Seeing his closeness to her family, I doubt that would've happened anyway. The Spears family would have to have pressed charges for anything to happen to him.

There are varying opinions on her pregnancy, her television career, and her decision to keep the baby. Here are my answers to these ponderings.

Certain people have taken the stance that the Spears family is terrible, that Jamie Lynn should've learned from her sister's mistakes. First off, since no one making these statements knows the family personally, attacks on the family are not from a reliable source and merely crap, really. I don't care who the family is or what they've gone through, you do not simply blame the family. Secondly, Britney - although she's probably a terrible mother - did NOT get pregnant at age 16. Since they were not in the same position and situation, Jamie Lynn would not have learned anything from her sister, except maybe how NOT to parent.

Despite the "mistake" Jamie Lynn has made, as others have been calling the little bundle of joy to be, I am sure that she will not follow in her sister's footsteps for a few reasons,
  • Although only 16, she has a relatively good head on her shoulders.
  • She has not enjoyed the same level of fame as Britney, and therefore has not gotten into the same problems with the same addictions and same bad group of friends.
  • She has a well-mannered boy at her side, who seems to love her for who she is and not for the money and fame she has, unlike K-Fed
How would everyone be reacting if, instead of hearing all about her being pregnant and keeping the baby, we were hearing about her alleged abortion? I know that everyone is worried about how children are going to react to this, but how would they react to her abortion? Instead of merely explaining pregnancy, then parents would have to explain the art or ridding oneself of a child in the most painful and gruesome way. None of that takes into account the young Ms. Spears' health.

Parents are all worried now, because they actually have to parent their tweens and teens a bit. Instead of ignoring sex, now it's getting pushed into their faces and they have to talk about it with their youngsters. Those who were counting on their children's faith to defer them from sex now have an example for their children, but they need to speak on more than the abstinence-only stance of the U.S. government. Children are going to do what they want to do, what their bodies want to do, what feels good. As someone who has recently come out of the teen stage of life, I can speak to that more than most adults can. The biggest thing with teenagers is that they defy authority - if your parents say you can't do something, then it's obviously because they don't want you to have fun, they hate you, or they just don't understand the situation. The "Just Say No" method never has worked, isn't going to work. Fear is not the way to rule, but education is a different story. Teaching kids how to protect themselves will go much farther in reducing the rates of teenage pregnancy and STIs. Comprehensive education is what we need, taking models from other countries like the Netherlands and Germany. The rest of that point will be made a different day.

A lot of people have been pulling for Nickelodeon to pull the remaining episodes of Zoey 101. Here's what I don't get with that.
  1. All the episodes for this season have been filmed, and will not feature an obviously pregnant Jamie Lynn.
  2. This is the fourth and final season.
  3. The studio would be losing money if they did that - D'OH!
The first two reasons also apply to people who are choosing to tell their children the show has been canceled. The other thing about that is your kids are going to find out that the show wasn't canceled, and are gonna watch it eventually, whether at a friend's house or when you're not at home. Sorry folks, ignorance once again isn't the answer.

To those who are bashing little Jamie Lynn:
Let me paint a picture for ya.
You're 16-years-old, going steady with an awesome boy. Like almost all teenagers, things get a little heavy and sex ensues. Let's even say a condom was worn and didn't break. It feels so good and is so much fun, the two of you continue to have sex protected.
Statistically, 1 in every 100 women gets pregnant with a condom, due to human error or minor imperfections in the condom.
You find out, after missing your period, that you're pregnant. Your best friend, who was with you while buying the test and taking it, is the only one who knows. You have a career in show business and know that this could just be that nail in the coffin that sends you back to unknown parts of Louisiana forever. You know that your family will be so disappointed in you, especially since they regard you as the good daughter.
What would YOU have done in that situation?
Would you have taken the easy way out and gotten an abortion? After all, only you and your best friend would know...
Or would you have called your boyfriend that night and told him, then told your family at Thanksgiving? Scheduled an interview to publicly announce your pregnancy and your decision to keep the baby?

Although I'm pro-choice, it makes me happy to think that this young lady, despite all she has to lose, is stepping up and taking responsibility for her actions. And I'm very proud of Casey for choosing to stand by her, despite all that he has to lose as well. I will not say it is heroic, as some are describing it. I will say, however, that it is so noble, so loving, and so selfless of the two of them to make this venture into parenthood together at such a young age.

And to Jamie Lynn:
I highly doubt you will read this, but I want you to know that I support your decision and I am behind you 110%. I never was a big fan of yours before, but I will not stand by while people are ridiculing you and your decision. It is your life, and not a part of television or the lives of children all over the world.
Do what is best for you and for your little family to be, sweetheart. Good luck.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


So I had a great past few days.

Theron's mom invited me for Christmas. I'm excited. I think it'll be fun. All his family seems to like me pretty well, and I'm hitting it off great with both his mom and his sister Brynne. Hopefully I don't offend or make a huge faux pax in front of everyone... Eeek!

Sledding was super fun! I can't wait until I can go up there again. It's like a roller coaster, but on snow and without long lines.

I found the most awesome cookbook at Half Price Books the other day. It's called "Wookies Cookies: A Star Wars Cookbook." It's kid-centered and in it are recipes for such items as Twin Sun Toast, Princess Leia Danish Dos, Hoth Chocolate, Yoda Soda, and of course, Wookie Cookies.

The introduction includes cooking tips, and these awesome quotes...

"Consider, young Jedi: Why bake a plain old cookie when you can bake a super-Chewie Wookie Cookie?"

"Go forth, young Jedi! May your Hoth Chocolate be sweet, may your Dark Side Salsa be spicy, and may the Force always be with you!"

And one of the best features of the book are the stickers in the back for use with your Tupperware. Great sayings such as
  • Use the fork, Luke
  • Eat this you must. Help you, it can.
  • Please feed the Wookie.
  • It's no Jedi mind trick. It's just good food.
  • Give in to your dark cravings.
appear, as well as normal "Food Data" stickers. Apparently there are several Star Wars cookbooks now, and I'm in the process of tracking some of them down.

Bon Appetit!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Almost done

So I just have my Calculus final in the morning and I'm done with the school year.

Sadly, it's the final I've been dreading... Ugh.

I've studied the whole book a few times over now as well as my notes. I'll do it a few more times tonight, but I think I'm ready... hehe.

After my final tomorrow, I'm going up to Theron's house for a few days. We're going sledding on Wednesday... it'll be my first time, and hopefully I won't break anything vital.

Needless to say, I won't be posting for a few days, and I don't necessarily have time to post that much today. But, I felt the need to at least write something... and delay my studying.

Any of you who haven't yet seen Rent need to. I don't care if it's the play or the movie, but you have to see it. I myself have only seen the movie, but I have the OBS too. It's kind of adult themed, so I'd say definitely PG-13 at least, depending on how you raise your kids. It deals with AIDS, homelessness, sexuality, friendship and betrayal, true love, and more. It's just all in very harsh conditions and more real life than most kids are used to and need to be exposed to.

Here's a great site for the lyrics to the songs, and if you wanna watch the song parts of the film or the 10th anniversary Broadway showing with the original cast, look Rent up on youtube.

My favorite songs are:
Today 4 U
I'll Cover You
La Vie Boheme (I & II)
One Song Glory
Santa Fe
Seasons of Love
Out Tonight
Tango: Maureen
Take Me or Leave Me
Your Eyes

Here is my favorite song, I'll Cover You:

Live In My House
I'll Be Your Shelter
Just Pay Me Back
With One Thousand Kisses
Be My Lover - I'll Cover You

Open Your Door
I'll Be Your Tenant
Don't Got Much Baggage
To Lay At Your Feet
But Sweet Kisses I've Got To Spare
I'll Be There - I'll Cover You

I Think They Meant It
When They Said You Can't Buy Love
Now I Know You Can Rent It
A New Lease You Are, My Love,
On Life - Be My Light

Just Slip Me On
I'll Be Your Blanket
Wherever - Whatever - I'll Be Your Coat

You'll Be My King
And I'll Be Your Castle

No You'll Be My Queen
And I'll Be Your Moat

I Think They Meant It
When They Said You Can't Buy Love
Now I Know You Can Rent It
A New Lease You Are, My Love
On Life

All My Life
I've Longed To Discover
Something As True As This Is

So With A Thousand
Sweet Kisses

If You're Cold
You're Lonely)

And I'll Cover You
With A Thousand
Sweet Kisses

You've got one
nickel only)

I'll Cover You

With A Thousand
Sweet Kisses

When You're Worn
Out And Tired)

I'll Cover You
With A Thousand
Sweet Kisses

When Your Heart
Has Expired)

I'll Cover You

Oh Lover I'll Cover You
Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya-a-a-a
Oh Lover I'll Cover You

Friday, December 14, 2007

Cookie Dough

and sparkling apple juice don't mix. Maybe a ham sandwich would fare better?

I'm having a lazy day.

Last night I finished The Time Traveler's Wife. It has to be the best book I've ever read. I was so entangled in Care and Henry's lives that now I feel so lonely. Sure, now I'm going to read the Amber Chronicles, but it's not the same. Clare isn't waiting and hoping for Henry to return; Henry isn't narrowly escaping death and maim. Ah, the depression that strikes once people you feel so close to are out of your life for good. It's almost like they're both died... or perhaps I'm Clare, waiting by the window for my Henry to come back in the form of a movie.

The most productive thing I've done today is take a shower. I just feel no need to get out of bed and do something important. I'll do some cleaning and laundry here in a few, then put music on my stepbrother's mp3 player so he doesn't bug me anymore about it. Maybe study for Calculus? Eh, maybe not. I'll try anyway.

What does my weekend hold?

Well, in the morning I have to stop by my education classroom to pick up the last of my graded assignments and get my final grade. Then Theron and I are probably going to run to Half Price Books to grab his sister's Christmas present. Sunday I get to finish my Christmas shopping with extra discounts at work.

Monday night my 'little brother' Will goes back to Chicago. He's going to Concordia next semester, so I won't get to see him as often. So sad. :(

I don't like school-less time. I feel like I have no purpose. Maybe it'll be better with working. I hope.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Guru Granth Sahib

I had the weirdest dream last night, brought on by studying for my Asian Religions final and excitement for next semester, no doubt.

I was in a Sikh temple, doing a site visit. It seemed more like next semester to me, but it could've been later on in life. Anyhow, there were speaking in Punjabi, and I was listening intently for any hint of a word or two I might know.

All of the sudden, someone breaks in through a stained glass window in the ceiling. Dressed in all black and hanging from repelling cords, this thief was going after the most prized possession in the gurdwara - the Guru Granth Sahib!

The man reading from the holy book and the other man who was supposed to be keeping the air above the Guru moving and clean both hit the floor, fearing for their lives. All the women and children tried to hide under the pews, and the men, despite having their ceremonial swords, were scared for dear life.

That's when I decided to take matters into my own hands...

All the sudden, I was not dressed in my everyday attire, but in a super suit - a mix between Indiana Jones and a Ninja, basically. I threw my lasso at the intruder's foot, only to have him kick it away. By this time, he had the Guru in hand, and was trying to make his escape.

I had a brilliant idea.

Using my (non-existent) math skills, I calculated exactly where I needed to strike in order to free the book from the man's hands. With lasso in hand, I threw a ninja star at the man's wrist, causing the book to fall from a height of around 20 feet in the air. Everyone gasped. This book is not just considered a holy book, but a person, a Guru. If it hit the floor, would it be okay?

I caught the book with my lasso and pulled it towards me. "She's got it, she's got the Guru
Granth Sahib!" I held it tight for a brief moment, then gave it to a young mother near me.

I went in pursuit of the perpetrator.

He was climbing back up towards the top of the window through which he came. I began to climb the rope after him, ceremonial sword in mouth style.

I'm always surprised at my physical abilities in my dreams...

He reached the top just before me, despite my best efforts to climb as fast as humanly (or ninja-ly) possible. Once outside, however, he had nowhere to go.

Whatever happened next is such a blur that I don't remember it, but all I know is I apprehended the perp, saved the day, and was offered much Indian food in return. I got to be all over the news as a hero, and the next day as I walked into my religion class, everyone cheered for me and my bravery.

In other news...

My Asian Religions final quiz went well. I feel like I only missed about two questions.

I know what I'm getting most people for Christmas now, except Theron... What do I get someone who means so much to me? Material things don't seem to be enough.

And I'm hungry. With that, I'm off to get some grub. Ciao!

Monday, December 10, 2007

A Weekend of Time Traveling

First off, I squared everything away with Susan. She just had forgotten to give me the days off, so I took an extra one off too and lied about my finals.

If I had been super smart, I'd have requested the 20th off as well, for Theron and my anniversary. Maybe I'll call in, maybe by then we'll have spent almost a full week together and we'll be annoyed with each other so it'll be good to work again. Nah. The only time we really get annoyed with each other is when there are outside influences/people making things harder on one or the both of us.

My weekend went well for everything that was going on. Theron was at home, and I was stuck putting up with my stepbrother.

He's a great guy and all, but annoying as hell. My parents are fighting more due to his presence because now dad is torn between new and old family, similar to when we moved here. We never get time to ourselves now. If he's not constantly asking me about Buddhism or trying to impress/woo? Kelsey and I with his amazingness, then he's just standing in the same room, watching TV he's not really even interested in. He smokes too much, interrupts and doesn't let you return to the subject you were on, acts like he knows everything about everything, tries to relate completely unrelatable things, is too sensitive, and is stupid to put it mildly. Maybe it's just because I grew up in an intellectual home, but yikes. On top of all that, the kid (he's almost 24, but definitely more like 10) is going through withdrawals for sure from pot and drinking and his girlfriend/"family", but I think maybe even more than that. Apparently the day before he got himself kicked outta his girlfriend's house, he smoked several ounces of pot alone. He picks on Kelsey constantly, more than a brother should in my opinion.

I'm not scared of him, because I know I could take him, but it worries me the amount of time Kelsey and he are probably going to end up spending alone together as school ends for me and I start working more. I'm worried for her, for her well-being. I swear, if he even eyes her differently, he's gone in every sense of the word.

Work this weekend wasn't so bad. Saturday was hectic, and I don't care for Steve's way of handling stress and only having one or two people on the floor. Poor Nando was trying to do almost everything alone, and I can't let him do that. Sure, the kid messed me up good for a few months, but I learned a lot from him and grew tremendously as a person. He's one of my closest friends, and I can't let him do too much like that alone, not when it's this busy.

Sunday went much better. I had a few conversations with Grrr about scheduling and working and just life in general. We're doing much better. She was not upset at all at me being up at the service desk and helping Nando to run things smoother. Maybe without me there on certain days, she sees how much I do to help. I finally got to work on some of my PLCs for once. I got a good chunk of things done. It was a pretty productive weekend, as far as work goes.

So Theron's got me reading The Time Traveler's Wife. It's gotta be the best book written ever. Period. It is so sweet. I recommend it to anyone who is in love, misses love, has to deal with long periods of absences of love... pretty much anyone. Don't look it up on Wikipedia though, because it's got spoilers. I don't know about you, but I'm halfway through this book and I want to read the whole thing without hints (except the ones that Theron has given me). They're making a movie, but I'm leery of how it'll translate. The book is organized quite neatly, by whose perspective things are from (Clare or Henry) and what ages and where Henry is.

Knowing that he cried reading this book is helping me to understand that it's okay to cry. I'm not a weak person for doing so. I don't always have to be strong, stoic. I'm getting in touch with my emotions, which has been a little difficult, I'll admit, but definitely a necessity. When I have kids, I want to be able to raise them right, which means being fully aware of and in touch with myself.

Here's a little teaser from the book...

"Well, you know, I'm not kidding about wanting that much sex. I mean, I realize that it's not practical. But I've been wanting to tell you: I feel so different. I just...feel so connected to you. And I think that it holds me here, in the present. Being physically connected to you..."

Saturday, December 8, 2007


What do I do?

At work I asked for my finals week off, which is merely Wednesday (so I can study) thru Tuesday (my Calc final). But, of course, I didn't get it.

I'm supposed to work on Thursday right after my final, and close on Saturday night (11pm now), and then, although the schedule isn't up for next week, I'm sure I'd have to be there before we open (6am as is my usual Sunday shift).

I know that I need this time off so that I can be free from the stresses of work and simply focus on school. I don't particularly need this job, especially with the managers always picking on me (Barb). They act like I never do enough. They want me to simply stay in my domestics department, and not help out anywhere else. However, if I did that, the store would run quite poorly and customers would complain even more than they do now and most would stop shopping there.

I'd hate to leave all my wonderful friends behind, but I can't put school as a second priority, or I'll end up like Grrr. :'(

I've heard advice that I should talk to both Barb and Susan together and try to work something out.

But, what do you think, my mass populous of friends and random people?
Leave a comment on this note, or write me a message, and tell me what you would do in this situation.


Friday, December 7, 2007

A Day Which Will Live in Infamy

To the Congress of the United States

Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with the government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.

Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleagues delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.

Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island.

This morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As commander in chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.

Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us.

No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, Dec. 7, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.

Today marks the 66th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, thus thrusting an otherwise uncooperative United States into World War II.

The first ship attacked was the USS Arizona, which is a memorial site for the 1,177 service men killed from the ship. The ship continues to leak oil (approximately 1 quart per year) in Pearl Harbor.

I myself had no clue that so many other places where attacked, even with my extreme background in international affairs and the like. I think that it's so sad that the United States education system really only focuses on the United States. Any international programs, as in the high school I went to, simply don't have enough funding or resources to teach enough. But I digress.

As it is such a solemn day, filled with so many deaths, I'd like to take the time to stop and acknowledge any service men and women reading this. I cannot express in words my gratefulness to you for your sacrifices every day in order to keep this nation and all who live here safe and free.

On a similar note, I had an interesting thing happen the other day. I was getting lunch, on another of my prep snow drives. When I drove past the place where we were going to get lunch, searching for a parking spot, I spotted a soldier, maybe a recruiter, I'm not sure. All I know is that it was someone brave in real camouflage, with the beret and the whole deal. After finding a parking spot, and walking back over towards Rose's Subs, the man was gone. I wish that there had been a way to stop in the middle of the street and thank him for being so brave and so courageous. Alas, there wasn't.

Please remember our troops families this Christmas. No, I'm not asking you to give anything. All I'm asking is that you remember them. Christmas day, at your big family function, if you pray, pray for them. If you don't, then at least have them in your thoughts. If you know someone who has served or is serving, make an effort to tell them you care about them.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Movie news

So as a youngster, I was confident in the fact that I would start a famous newsletter, or blog I suppose, about celebrities and such - heavier on the news and not the gossip though. I definitely don't want to become the next Perez Hilton (although the hair is semi-snazzy). So here's the important stuff going on in the entertainment world.

First off, a new Terminator trilogy is starting up, starring Christian Bale... Ugh. I love him so much, but the Terminator trilogy? I thought he was better than to get involved in a series that had been over-filmed... Ha. Hopefully this will be an update akin to Batman Begins. The rumor mill has it that he's set to play John Connor, but that has yet to be revealed officially.

The ever-beautiful, ever-giving Angelina Jolie is set to star in a new spy movie. It is based on real-life intelligence operative Kathi Lynn Austin's experiences in arms trafficking and terrorism. Think feminine Bourne Identity.

Edward Norton, who is wanting to get more involved in films that make a difference (perhaps a close friendship with Fight Club co-star Brad Pitt is to blame?), is set to star in the new Leaves of Grass. It's a challenging role, playing twins, but I'm confident Norton can pull it off.

In super-happy news, the writer's strike is hopefully ending soon, as mediators say they feel that they are close to a deal.

And in Burton news... Sweeny Todd, the crazy musical based on a serial killer barber, has been filmed, edited, and is set to be released just before Christmas (Dec 21). With an all-star cast including Burton regulars Johnny Depp (Sweeny Todd) and Helena Bonham Carter (Mrs. Lovett). Alan Rickman and Borat's Sacha Baron Cohen are also set to star. For more film information, go to IMDB.

Whelp, hope you enjoyed the movie update. Regular posting to return sometime in the future.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Bummed out, but not about Zork!

For some reason, I'm bummed today. I shouldn't be though.

I mean, I stayed awake through calculus this morning with very little waining. I have all my homework done for the rest of the semester except for calculus, which I'm caught up on. My job isn't as bad as I think it is. I have an awesome family. My boyfriend is amazingly wonderful and adorable.

So what's wrong with me???

I have some thoughts on the subject...

  1. I am currently emotional for a biological reason.
  2. The holidays are coming up, and although I've done fairly well so far this year, I know that my SAD is going to kick in soon.
  3. Finals are coming up :(
  4. I miss my extended family and our huge holidays.
  5. Work and stress from that.
  6. Being so busy.
  7. Being so sick, even if I don't show it.
  8. Having a lot of acquaintances and friends, but not best friends.
  9. Feeling like I'm losing control over certain aspects of my life, and not knowing how every thing is going to turn out.
  10. My tendency to over-analyze things and assume people's thoughts/words/actions are different that they really are.
  11. Although it is a ways off, thinking about graduate school and where I should go.
  12. Knowing that winter break is coming up and the only thing I have to do until school starts again is work my butt off.
  13. Knowing that after finals, my little brother will be back in Chicago until he starts at Concordia in the spring.
  14. Knowing that winter break is coming up and that Theron will be home and not around, and that we'll both be working a lot, so I might not get to talk to him that much, let alone visit.

I hate it when I get bummed out. It's like everything will be going great, but my brain just freaks out on me.

Maybe after I eat something in a bit, it'll be better. I don't eat enough in the daytime, and I'm sure it throws off my metabolism.

On a happy note, the spell checker on here says I have spelled everything correctly. Coolio. Well, now it's mad because it doesn't recognize coolio.

Whatever computer, whatever. I'll do what I want.

Know what game I miss? Zork. Not the crazy picture one - no, that's not Zork. The Zork that runs on an old 386 with the green monitor and that overworked computer smell. Ahhh. I remember playing that for hours on end, trying to draw out maps so that I knew where I was going in the crazy maze of rooms below the locked cellar door.

Luckily, I found a site where I can download it. I'll try it later in the math lab, so tenatively it works. I would assume it does, because it's from the maker of the trilogy.

Oh! And here's a site where you can just play online too! You can save your game too. That'll make beating the game soooo much easier, to not have to start over so much. It's kinda slow, but super fun. There are a few more sites out there, but they require you to save on your computer - they're not easily transfered that way. However, those sites are faster.

Go play Zork, you dork!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Beavers and Ducks

Ever watch that movie Bandits? Yea? Well, this isn't about that awesome quote... although it is quite hilarious.

Over the weekend, the Beavers and Ducks played the 111th Civil War game. Like is the usual trend, the Beavers defeated the Ducks in a close game (38-31).

This game took two overtimes to finish.

At the official end of the game, the Beavers and Ducks had tied it up. By the end of the first overtime, they had each scored another goal.

Towards the end of the last overtime, however, wide receiver James Rodgers (a freshman on the team) rushed 25 yards for the winning touchdown. This gave him a total of 45 yards rushing in 5 attempts. With the exception of the Cincinnati game, in which he did not play, and the UCLA game, in which he failed to gain yards, he is a consistent and promising player. Consistently he rushed the ball 30+ yards a game. In the game against Stanford, he gained 60 yards in 3 attempts. His greatest contribution was in the Washington game, where in 8 attempts he gained 85 yards. If his playing continues to be consistent, he is going to be a great NFL candidate out of college.

Justin Roper, a red-shirt freshman and the fill-in-QB, pretty much summed up the feeling of the whole town of Eugene after a loss to the Beavers:

"It's kind of bittersweet. I'm glad I got to play and contribute, but a loss to Oregon State is the worst you can have."

With Dixon out of the game, most Duck fans had hopes of a good game, but knew in reality that they would probably get beat good. Roper, after all, is no Dennis Dixon, and has only played in 3 games thus far. Dixon, in the fashion of Joey Harrington before him, has become an amazing QB. I think the saddest thing is that he got hurt towards the end of his senior season. Nonetheless, he's sure to get some good NFL offers.

Another sub proved to be helpful - for the Beavers. Senior running back Matt Sieverson, in for an injured senior running back Yvenson Bernard, gained 142 yards in 27 carries - obviously an integral part of the win.

So, what does this mean bowl-wise for the two rivalry Pac-10 teams?
This means OSU (8-4) will take on Maryland (6-6) in the Emerald Bowl on Friday, December 28th. Kickoff at 5:30pst.
And for beloved Oregon? They're bowl-ing too. The 8-4 team will take on South Florida (9-3) in the Sun Bowl, set for December 31st at noon.

In other fun news, this is the first time in nearly 50 years that the platypus trophy will be awarded to the Beavers (for the win, of course).

Tune in and watch my home-state teams battle for their respective Bowl-titles! :)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

My parents...

are driving down to Kansas City as we speak. My stepbrother Mike got kicked out of his girlfriend's house and has nowhere to go...

If I'm not at work this weekend, that's probably why. I have to take care of my little sister first.


Monday, November 26, 2007

Hee hee....

Theron's so cute.

This morning, he texts me (in the middle of my music alarm, which was playing "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette no less) and asks me if I want him to come pick me up. I think it was the best way to wake up, with the exception of turning over and staring into his gorgeous brown eyes or looking at his sleepy face.

He could be doing so many other things with his time... but he's not... he's with me. He's holding me, cuddling me, being so gentle. He always pushes me to be better, to do my homework, to get stuff done early, to clean my room.

I missed him so much this weekend. Granted, I was working most of the time, but when I was home it was like I had no clue what I wanted to do. I did some homework, watched some TV, spent time with my family... played Lego Star Wars :)

Here is what I'm thankful for...

  • Kelsey - No matter how much we fight and act like we hate each other, I hope you know that I wouldn't be the same without you. I love you soooo much. I'm sorry that I don't spend as much time with you as I should. I had so much fun being your big sister all weekend, and your bff! You can kick my ass on Guitar Hero any day!

  • Mom - I love you. I hope that you feel better soon. I'm so thankful that you made it through the night. Please sleep and try to get better. I'll take care of what I can as far as cooking okay? You need to take care of you now, so you can get back to taking care of the rest of us. X-P

  • Dad - You're super awesome! I'm sad that we don't get to spend that much time together, but I'm so glad that you're in my life.

  • Nicki - You make everyday at work worth it. You are the funnest and the silliest gal I know (well, okay, maybe tied with Mama Latonya :). Thanks for all you do to try and make work funner!

  • Latonya - I know you're probably not gonna read this, but you are so much fun hun. I love being at work with you because we're always on the same page and always know what to do to get stuff done. You really are like a second mommy to me, and I wanna thank you for listening to me blab on and on about Theron and his cuteness, and for giving me advice.

  • Nate & Norene & Girls - I miss you guys so much. I wish that we were still around each other. I'm so excited for Munkey to graduate and be a teacher. Your girls are growing up so fast. They're so adorable and I miss every second of everyday that I used to spend with them, and you two too!

  • Nette & Kiddles - I miss you guys. I worry about you a lot. You're so far away, and we don't talk as often as I wish we did. Jonathan, I can remember when you were just a teeny baby. You're such a good kid, and a great big brother. Micah, you're a princess!

  • Gramma Patty - I miss you more than you'll ever know. Who else is gonna pick me up after finals and go shopping with me? Get me Dairy Queen? Talk about mommies? I love you!

  • Theron - You brighten my days and light up my nights. You make everything I've been through worth it. I don't know what I did to be so lucky to get you, but I'll never question it. There aren't even words to describe you - that's what I resort to neology. I love how you push me to be better, how you cheer me up in two seconds, the way you look at me that just screams "I love you!". You make me want to be a better person - clean my room, do my homework, work harder. You keep me on the right track. I know that it's only been two months, but it feels like forever. I feel like I'm myself around you. You are the sweetest, kindest, gentlest man I've ever met, not to mention the most handsome, silliest, and adorable one too! You are more than I could've ever asked more, more than I could've even hoped for - you're my dream come true. I love you so much. I adore you. Be with me, not just now, but for an indeterminate amount of time... forever even. If there's one big thing that this whole weekend away taught me, it's that I can't be without you. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to. You're the only person who knows exactly what I'm thinking, exactly what to say, exactly what to do to make everything seem perfect, even if it isn't. The way you hold me, put your arms around me, kiss me... I've never seen anyone be so sweet. I love you more than you will ever know Mister Sir.

I'm thankful for so much more, but I suppose I can't find the words to say it. Even if I could, would you really want to read a blog 10 miles long? I wouldn't. X-P

Friday, November 23, 2007


Yup. I kind of am right now.

My friend Mike at work got arrested and fired all in one today.

For a while now, there've been things disappearing out of the electronics department... I guess today, somehow, they traced it back to him.

It really struck me for some reason that he'd do that. Maybe it's cos he is younger than me and has had such a hard life already. Maybe it's cos he was a fun guy to hang out with, and flirt with a little, I'll admit. Maybe it's just cos he was such a hard worker and I would've never expected that it was him. Whatever the case, I'm saddened that 1) he did it, and 2) that he has had such a hard life that would push him to that. He was working two jobs to make ends meat, and now this stealing and pawning things off? *sigh*

I'm glad that I didn't get the chance to get romantically involved with him now. For a while, I thought I might ask him out, but it seemed like something better was on it's way. And how!

The worst part was seeing him being escorted out in handcuffs with a cop at his side. Looking at him for the last time, but not in the eye... feeling his shame as he walked past... wishing I could give him a hug, tell him thank you for all the times he watched my back when there were customers who were ready for a throw-down or bending over backwards and dropping everything when I needed his help... watching them begin the conversation over where he was going now and what was gonna happen.

As Theron would say, some people's kids, eh?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I am...

I had to write this poem for Education100 a few weeks ago...
I Am

I am compassionate and helpful.
I believe that children are the future.
I wonder if my students will like me, or think I'm crazy.
I hear the giggles of kids as they learn something important through humor.
I see a classroom of kids looking up to me, waiting for the next example.
I want to help make the world a better place.
I am compassionate and helpful.

I pretend like I am a little girl every day, to escape stress.
I feel like schools don't have passionate teachers anymore.
I touch the hearts of my past teachers by taking examples from them.
I worry that I might be that one teacher every kid thinks is crazy.
I cry when I see parents belittling their children in stores.
I believe that I can make a difference in those kids' lives.
I am compassionate and helpful.

I understand that not every kid is going to like me.
I say never give up what you want most for what you want right now.
I dream about a day where I can see my students graduate.
I try to help every child that I meet.
I hope that I will be an important part of many lives.
I believe that education is the biggest investment in the future.
I am compassionate and helpful.
It seems like everything I am coincides with everything that Esmé Raji Codell is too. If you haven't read her book, Educating Esmé: Diary of a First Year Teacher yet, I suggest you get it. It's only like a 200 page paperback that'll take you maybe three hours to finish. It's really worth the ten dollars or so, depending on where you get it. It really helps to exhibit the problems inherent in the education system today. You can read more about her at her wesbite,

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


Phenylalanine is the main culprit of allergies and all sorts of other problems for hundreds of thousands of people. It's in all sorts of pain medications - which, really, is just great when I need to relieve the arthritis pain, and have no more Aleve... And it's in just about any diet thing out there... and, sadly, every kind of gum aside from Dentyne fire and Big red. But I'm starting to think that there's a good side to why I'm allergic to it...

Inherited metabolic condition in which the liver of a child cannot control the level of phenylalanine (an amino acid derived from protein food) in the bloodstream. The condition must be detected promptly and a special diet started in the first few weeks of life if brain damage is to be avoided. Untreated, it causes stunted growth, epilepsy, and severe mental

So this stuff has formic acid and formaldehyde in it. Formaldehyde you should recognize as the wonderful preservative that gives grandma that freshly dead look at the altar in her coffin. Formic acid has a smell that, if you have pests, you're all too aware of. You ever squish an ant, and then wonder why your fingers smell so bad? That's formic acid. And every time you have a
diet soda or flavored water, a light yogurt, or even a piece of your favorite non-cinnamon, non-kid-oriented gum, that's what you're eating. Yum!
Although phenylalanine is somewhat of an essential thing to have in your body, the amount that's in our food today is extremely troubling.
With Turkey day coming up, try to chew on this. Although this chemical is very, very bad in high doses, when mixed with tryptophan (that additive in your holiday turkey that makes you all sleepy -- and you thought it was just your boring family!), it helps to create an intestinal hormone called cholecystokinin, which helps you to digest things via tasty intestinal mucosa. So tasty!
Phenylalanine helps to make tyrosine and, together, they makeup thyroxine or thyroid hormone and adrenaline and noradrenaline which is converted into a neurotransmitter, a brain chemical which transmits nerve impulses. This neurotransmitter is used by the brain to manufacture noradrenaline which promotes mental alertness, memory, elevates mood and suppresses the appetite very effectively. Hence its presence in diet foods.

The danger of phenylalanine to phenylketuronics [people allergic to the phenyl group] is that they are unable to metabolize phenylalanine properly. Because of their inability to metabolize phenylalanine, it builds up in the blood in the form of phenylperuvic acid. High levels of phenylperuvic acid in the blood can cause a number of problems including mental retardation, muscle aches and pains and even seizures. Because of this phenylketuronics must be very careful of their diets and avoid the ingestion of phenylalanine.

Aspartame is a compound of two amino acids -- aspartic acid and phenylalanine. Because it is essentially half phenylalanine, people who have the genetic disease phenylketonuria (PKU) and cannot metabolize phenylalanine normally need to avoid diet drinks and other products containing aspartame (trade name: NutraSweet). It has been shown that ingesting aspartame, especially along with carbohydrates, can lead to excess levels of phenylalanine in the brain even in persons who do not have PKU.
Aspartame accounts for over 75 percent of the adverse reactions to food additives reported to the FDA. Many of these reactions are very serious including seizures and death. A few of the 90 different documented symptoms listed in the report as being caused by aspartame include: Headaches/migraines, dizziness, seizures, nausea, numbness, muscle spasms, weight gain, rashes, depression, fatigue, irritability, tachycardia (cardiac arrhythmia), insomnia, vision problems, hearing loss, heart palpitations, breathing difficulties, anxiety attacks, slurred speech, loss of taste, tinnitus, vertigo, memory loss, and joint pain.
That's not all...
The following chronic illnesses can be triggered or worsened by ingesting of aspartame: Brain tumors, multiple sclerosis, epilepsy, chronic fatigue syndrome, parkinson's disease, alzheimer's, mental retardation, lymphoma (that's right, cancer!), birth defects, fibromyalgia, and diabetes.
Excessive levels of phenylalanine in the brain can cause the levels of seratonin in the brain to decrease, leading to emotional disorders such as depression.
Another fun study a la Supersize Me...
One account of a case of extremely high phenylalanine levels caused by aspartame was recently published the "Wednesday Journal" in an article titled "An Aspartame Nightmare." John Cook began drinking six to eight diet drinks every day. His symptoms started out as memory loss and frequent headaches. He began to crave more aspartame-sweetened drinks. His condition deteriorated so much that he experienced wide mood swings and violent rages. Even though he did not suffer from PKU, a blood test revealed a phenylalanine level of 80 mg/dl. He also showed abnormal brain function and brain damage. After he kicked his aspartame habit, his symptoms improved dramatically.
The genetic disorder phenylketonuria (PKU) is the inability to metabolize phenylalanine. Individuals with this disorder are known as "phenylketonurics" and must abstain from consumption of phenylalanine. This dietary restriction also applies to pregnant women with hyperphenylalanine (high levels of phenylalanine in blood) because they do not properly metabolize the amino acid phenylalanine. Persons suffering from PKU must monitor their intake of protein to control the buildup of phenylalanine as their bodies convert protein into its component amino acids.
A related issue is the compound present in many sugarless gums and mints, snack foods, sugarless soft drinks (such as diet sodas including CocaCola Zero, Pepsi Max, some forms of Lipton Tea, Clear Splash flavored water), and a number of other low calorie food products. The artificial sweetener aspartame, sold under the names "Equal" and "NutraSweet", is an ester that is hydrolyzed in the body to give phenylalanine, aspartic acid, and methanol (wood alcohol). The
breakdown problems phenylketonurics have with protein and the attendant build up of phenylalanine in the body also occurs with the ingestion of aspartame, although to a lesser degree. Accordingly, all products in the U.S. and Canada that contain aspartame must be labeled: "Phenylketonurics: Contains phenylalanine." [It's not always in an easily seeable place,
however] In the UK, foods containing aspartame must carry ingredients panels that refer to the presence of 'aspartame or E951', and they must be labeled with a warning "Contains a source of phenylalanine". These warnings are specifically placed to aid individuals who suffer from PKU so that they can avoid such foods. Interestingly, the macaque genome was recently sequenced and it was found that macaques naturally have a mutation that is found in humans who have PKU.

I've taken the liberty of highlighting the best parts...

Maybe read that last part in red one more time...
Phenlylalanine actually alters your DNA... That's right, your DNA! Why would they put this in anything? Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, that's not such a good idea, altering one's

If you still don't think that it's a hazard, unless of course you happen to be a phenylketuronic, maybe you should visit this site. ADD and ADHD, along with some emotional and behavioral disorders, are a result of too much phenylalanine in the mother's diet during pregnancy.

The Mayo Clinic website states that:

"Phenylalanine is found in protein-rich foods, such as milk, cheese, nuts, seeds, poultry, fish, as well as some leafy vegetables and whole grains. It's also found in diet foods, such as diet soda,
that contain aspartame."
which is all fine and well until you realize that there probably isn't that much in said protein-rich foods or you start studying up on all the things you consume everyday that contain the dreaded phenylalanine.
I would suggest that you guys do your own research and decide whether or not you want to continue to imbibe anything with phenylalanine. However, I would suggest that you not. It's been linked to cancer and all sorts of not fun diseases and maladies. Until further testing is done, please don't drink diet, or chew minty gum, or have any of the millions of things that now contain phenylalanine.
At least try to cut back, eh?

Monday, November 19, 2007

The history of my name...

I'd do something different today.

Here's how to spell my name in a whole buncha languages! Enjoy!

Chinese: 基尔斯 (simplified) or 基爾斯 (traditional)
Japanese: キルステン
Korean: 조종
Russian: Кирстен
Arabic: أدلت السيدة كيرستين

Fun right? I wish my name was different in more languages though.
On the subject of names...

"Kirsten Larson longs to feel at home in a strange land. In 1854, Kirsten leaves all she’s ever known to come with her family to the New World. They settle on the Minnesota frontier, a place where people don’t speak her language or wear clothes like hers—or know about the traditions she holds dear. Yet with quiet strength and an open heart, Kirsten discovers the richness of her new land—and the true meaning of home."

So totally like me. If you wanna read more about Kirsten Larson, the American Girl, go to the American Girl website.

Quite literally, my name is...

Gender: Feminine
Usage: Scandinavian
Scandinavian form of CHRISTINA
which is...

Gender: Feminine
Usage: English, German, Scandinavian
Pronounced: kris-TEEN-a (English), kris-TEE-nah (German) [key]
Feminine form of CHRISTIAN. This was the name of a Swedish queen of the 17th century who was interested in the arts and philosophy. She gave up her crown to become a Roman Catholic.
and one more back...

Gender: Masculine
Usage: English, French, German
Pronounced: KRIS-chen (English), KRISH-chen (English), krees-TYAWN (French), kris-TEE-ahn (German) [key]
From a medieval Latin name that meant "Christian". This was the name of ten kings of Denmark. Another famous bearer of the name was Hans Christian Andersen, the Danish author of such fairy tales as 'The Ugly Duckling' and 'The Emperor's New Clothes'. In medieval England this was also a feminine name.

What about Theron?

Theron means hunter in greek (see below).

Ancient Greek: Θηρων
Arabic: ثيرون
Chinese: 塞隆 (simplified and traditional)
Japanese: セロン
Korean: 테론
Russian: Терон

Yay names!

Thursday, November 15, 2007


Last night, we went to the Shambala center.

They were doing meditation and invited us to join them, which we gladly did.

Usually, I meditate in the corpse pose (lying on my back, arms stretched out to either side - like making a snow angel without the movement). It's easier for me because of the lack of strain on the body. I thoroughly enjoyed last night though. We sat in the half-lotus position, because we're not super experienced in that crazy feet over thighs area.

There was a birthday celebration for the founder's son, who is off doing other things. Wine, cider, cheese & crackers (oh yah!), and yummy chocolates and teas. It was awesomely fun.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


are always really long seeming... except this one.

I'm having a great day today.

I actually woke up and was ready to leave the house by 6, but since we didn't have to leave until closer to 745, I was able to shower and be all girly with my hair. I got all dressed up and look all purdy.

Calculus was okay this morning. Still didn't get the tests back from last week, but hopefully tomorrow. Dr. Feil's getting sicker, and I'm getting unhappy that I'm in the splash-zone... luckily, he's not a spitter. Haha.

I got to snuggle with Theron this morning. He's super cuddly. :)

The only thing that really irked me about today so far was my EDU100 class. No, not really the class, but the topic. The whole class period today dealt with the ugly (Mrs. Donovan gave us the ol' "the good, the bad, and the ugly" speech at the beginning of the year). Last night I had to read a handout about the signs of all kinds of abuse - how to spot them, report them, all that fun stuff. There was a whole page with the things that teachers are supposed to watch out for, the most important warning signs of neglect and physical/emotional/sexual abuse. I hate that the article doesn't mention children molesting each other, because that happens more than adult on children sexual abuse.

For those of you who don't know, or don't know me, I was sexually abused by my best friend when I was little. Most of the women in my family have been. We all tend to be people pleasers, which is apparently one of the main symptoms of emotional abuse.

When someone is abused sexually, it doesn't just affect the sexual part of him/her. It takes a huge toll on them physically (depending on exactly what's happening to them), and emotionally.

It's like someone has stolen your innocence away. That's not something that you just get back... you never really do. All you can do is to pretend that it didn't happen to you, to block it out. The only problem with that, though, is that you are who you are. If I wasn't abused, maybe I would be some Britney Spears type pop star, ruining my life more and more with each line of coke I snort... or some girl who got pregnant in middle school, because she hadn't been exposed to sexuality before and had no clue what was happening to her during the conception.

The point is, you are who you are, and everything that you've been through has helped to make you that way. Yes, I'm withdrawn for the first few days/weeks/months that you know me, but I'm sure that it's helped me to avoid more problems by not interacting with certain people. Or my sister with her anger issues - she doesn't get walked all over by people trying to manipulate her because that's her defense.

We can't ignore our pasts. So, what's our alternative? Just omit it? That's the same as ignoring. Not focus on it at all? Same thing. The only thing that we can do is embrace the things that we've been through, the trials and tribulations, if you will, that we've faced. I was sexually abused for many years. No one knew what was going on, and I couldn't bring myself to talk, so no one could possibly do anything about it. How could I understand the things that my mama and my sister have been through if that hadn't happened to me? How unfeeling and awkward would the revealing conversations be? How many children/people am I supposed to talk to, supposed to let them know that they didn't do anything wrong, it wasn't their fault?

I know it might seem like I'm not mad about it at all. Believe me, I'm extremely upset. You would think that having a family full of abused women would have helped me, that they would've seen. Not necessarily. And maybe parts of them did see, did notice little things wrong, but were in denial.

And Claire? Oh, believe me, she got hers I'm sure. A six year old doesn't know those kinds of things unless shown... Her dad neglected them constantly. He worked for a Congressman who shall remain nameless... They were always with his friends or his girlfriends (and boy, did he go through a lot of 'em!).

I was so hesitant to move away from Eugene, not because I was going to miss my friends or my family (not to say that I wasn't, but it didn't scare the life outta me), but because I didn't know where she was. Come to find out (through searching myspace and google in the last 5 minutes) she's in Milwaukee... great... wonderful... perfect... lovely...

Anyways, enough about all that junkers. I think an hour venting is good enough for right now.

On a much, much, MUCH lighter and happier note, I'm going to a Buddhist temple tonight on a site visit for rel306. I'm really excited. This is really what I want to be and really what I identify with. Hopefully it goes well.

I'm sure I'll hop on tomorrow with wonderful tales about Buddhism and such things.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Scheduling for next semester

I finished. And, just in case you wanted to know, here's my schedule.

REL106 Sec B Understanding Religion Prof Boykin -MT-RF- 10:00a-10:50a
REL316 Sec A Judaism, Christianity, and Islam Prof Boykin -MT-RF- 11:00a-11:50a
MUS158 Sec A Rock Music: Roots and History Prof Carpenter -M--R-- 02:00p-03:50p
HIS203 Online The American Civil War Prof Herdegen Online

The first two classes are gonna be fun, cos they're with my Asian Religions professor. Everyone knows I love rock music, so that'll be good too. Plus, it satisfies the only LSP I have yet to fulfill. AND Theron says the Civil War class is pretty easy and fun. So I'm stoked.

Now that I got that done and some of my other homework out of the way, I'm gonna get ahead on some other homeworks.


Monday, November 12, 2007


So much to say after not writing for almost a whole week! Erk!

Registration is tomorrow for next semester. I really hope that I get into the classes that I need/want to take. Hopefully, Theron's schedule and my own don't mesh too badly.

Wednesday night, Theron wrote up this mock test for calculus, and we spent like four hours going through it. I had a test the next morning, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Hopefully, I got a good grade. I've never been with anyone who wanted me to do well like this, and it's sooo cool. I hope he knows how very much I appreciate it.

Grrr was actually relatively nice to me on Thursday. Hopefully that means she's getting over her damn self. Nicki told me a fun lil story when I went to say goodbye to her on Saturday morning. Apparently Grrr might be going to a different store. *crosses fingers* I'm not going to look for a different job then, until I know if she's leaving or what's going on. Without her, that store is awesome, and everything runs well.

Friday was wonderful. I got to sleep in, because Dr. Feil was out of town at a conference, so he canceled class. I didn't have to work either, so that was nice. Theron's mom came down, and took us to lunch. The math tutors didn't get paid though, and it totally ruined the whole day. Stupid people not doing the right thing. Rawr.

Saturday was an awesome day! We went to the Milwaukee Public Museum with some people from History Club. It was tons of fun. I haven't really been in Milwaukee that much, or to a natural history museum, so it was definitely a fun first for me. I think that Theron had fun watching me be all amazed at all this stuff. It seemed like it anyways. There is so much to see there that I could spend literally three or four days in there. There's so much to read, so much to look at, to experience. I wish I could've been there all day. Four floors of all these different exhibits - ancient cultures, natural wonders, wars, dinosaurs, extinct animals, the rainforest, and more! I really liked it, can you tell?

After roaming around the museum for a few hours, we went and saw Dinosaurs Alive! at the IMAX theater. That was crazy cool! The screen was sooo big. I kinda had trouble focusing on a lot - so did other people though, because a lot of us almost or completely fell asleep. Might have had something to do with the reclined seats as well... sooo comfy...

We went out to lunch at Mo's Irish Pub. That was some good food. Very filing too. They have these garlic cheese fries that are to die for! I ate way too many of them though...

As a joke, some of us thought it'd be funny to go to the porn store. Haha, funny joke... Until we went. Some of those movie titles - yikes! A lot of the things in there are scary. It was the first time Theron had been in one, so it was kinda funny to watch him. Our group was probably one of the funnest to have in there though. We had Sam, the really shy guy who was a little scared, and Jenny, who is the hilarious lesbian who loves to make jokes about anything and everything, and then another girl - I feel bad, cos I forgot her name already... Ooops. She was cool, though. And then Theron and I... It was really funny. I love how they have pipes for "tobacco use." Yeah right, like anyone who buys those really uses them for that.

Sunday was okay, I guess. I worked later in the day (3-close), so it made it harder for me to do homework. I'd much rather work earlier. Maybe that's just me though. Grrr wasn't there, though, so my night was terribly pleasant.

I have to work tonight, Thursday afternoon, and Friday night, but I get Saturday off, which is sooo nice.

On a super happy note, I figured out that I can put my hair up! It's super cute.

Plus, it's 57 degrees out right now, so I get to wear flippity-floppitys! Yay!

Adios! Hasta luego!

Now playing: Dave Matthews Band - When The World Ends
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


So in my Excel class (csc107), we have to go through these tutorials. Here's this week's...

Ellen Jefferson, business manager for the Eugene Community Theatre in Eugene, Oregon, is automating several processes for the theatre's business office. Each year, the theatre mails a brochure to patrons and other interested individuals showcasing the upcoming seasons' offerings. Then, theatre-goers make their selections and mail in the order form. Ellen wants to automate the process of invoicing, capturing the order, calculating the charges, and printing an invoice. She also wants the invoice system to reflect specific requests for tickets (number, series, and location in theatre).

But get this - I always thought that there was some truth to some of these. Obviously, if you're from Eugene, you know the above is false. It gets better... Here're some of the people...

Michael Keller
1234 Main Street
Eugene, OR 70777
(806) 555-1111

George Zildane
105 Central Ave.
Eugene, OR 70777
(808) 685-1111

Kate Holland
186 Pinetop Drive
Eugene, Oregon 70777
(888) 555-1234

Ridiculousness! I feel mocked... :(

Off to homeworkland for moi! Au revoir!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

I should...

not be multitasking while doing homework, but oh well.

I really like my Asian Religions class, and my decision to switch over to Religious Studies as a major. I think I finally found my niche.

I halfway told Grrr off yesterday, and Latanya totally did. I hope that she isn't going to get fired. Grrr tried to make some joke to me about me not having a doctor's note for my OCD/Perfectionism, and it totally offended me. So I said no right? And she says, "Well it must not be THAT bad then." So, I got all up in her face about it. "No, Grrr, that just means I don't have insurance or enough money to get you a doctor's note." Ha! She ignored my comment.

I stopped by Tallinger's last night to get an application, filled it out, and hopefully the other girl she hired isn't going to work out (I'm a horrible, horrible person!). I can't wait to get away from Kmart, even if that means less money. Ugh.

Theron left me the cutest messages when I was at work the other day. It was super cute even! I really like writing about him on here, because I'm bragging about him, but he gets to see it too. It's kinda fun, cos I think mayhaps he gets embarrassed about it... Then again maybe not.

Well, since I've not multitasked my homework at all, I'm gonna go finish the reading for class in a half hour...


Monday, November 5, 2007

Ahhh, the weekend update...

So my weekend was alright, I suppose. I've been super busy... well, and super lazy.

Saturday went well enough. Aside from getting some stuff at the store, there wasn't a whole lot of eventful stuff. Theron and I cleaned my room. It was nice to have him there to help motivate me, but at the same time, I feel bad... I should be able to motivate myself... I'm just super lazy and lethargic, I suppose. X-P

Oregon whomped Arizona State Saturday night, moving them to the number 3 spot in BCS standings. They play Arizona there Thursday night and in UCLA the Saturday after next before coming back home to play the civil war game against Oregon State. This game is legendary, for those of you who have no clue about it. Almost every year, these are the first tickets to get sold out. Go ducks!

We made dirt cake Saturday night, which was supremely fun. I got to crush all the loverly Oreos, but I didn't do a great job... We put sooo many gummy worms in there. I think the piece I had last night had like 5 or 6 in it!

Sunday was a terriblie day at work. I found out the price changer girl - who never does her job right - and my boss were talking about how I never do my job right. Between that, and then price changer girl telling me that I'm not allowed to put up the ad signs unless they're ringing up right, even though it's HER job to put them in the damn computer, I've just about had it. Poor Latanya was standing there listening to stupid girl talk to me like that, and SHE almost walked out. No one there is happy. Everyone is tired of trying to pretend, and our boss doesn't treat anyone right at all. She actually said to me the other day that this is not a job that requires thinking!!! I turned to Morgan (one of the newer girls), and she was just as floored as I was. I'm a college student - I've been trained for years TO think! Not gonna stop just stupid lady says so. It was so bad that, when I got off work, Theron and I drove around looking for places that were hiring. I'm gonna go apply at Tallinger's tonight after work. I know it'll probably mean a dock in pay, but I'll take it as long as the atmosphere is a little bit better.

Last night, Theron and I ate a whole box of cereal for dinner. It was pretty amusing, I thought.

On an even worse note, my arthritis is being terrible. I'm trying not to show it in front of Theron, because I don't want to freak him out or look like a complete doofus. I don't think it's gonna stop being this way for a while now though, so maybe it's time to break out the crazy tape.

I keep dropping things midway through holding on to them... My eyes are starting to get funky again... I actually had to get eye drops the other day. My ankle, which was already bad from me twisting it trying to be all cool and sportsy (which was a bad move, knowing my klumsiness), is hurting worse now. Thankfully, that's the only joint that's being attacked right now, but it's my friggin' ankle! Not a good thing to have problems with. Hopefully it gets better soon, but seeing as it's getting colder and colder, I highly doubt that'll happen. I had to start taking my Aleve again, which means I'm gonna start getting sick to my stomach.

Excitingly though, the main gene responsible for Rheumatoid Arthritis was found in the past couple of days. Maybe there'll be a cure or better treatment by the time I have kids so that they don't have to go through as much of this as I have. It's bad enough to have watched my little sister get sicker... I don't want to see this happen to anyone anymore. Stupid pain, grrrr!

Thursday, November 1, 2007


So the rest of my Halloween went well.

Theron and I went trick or treating with my friend Nicki and her kids. Well, we didn't actually trick or treat, but we went around with them in any case. Her kids are really fun to be around.

I didn't wear any extra clothes last night whilst trick or treating though... When I finally got home, I was frozen right down to the bone. Brrr! Before Theron headed home, he piled 6 or 7 blankets on me - all the spare ones we could find... I still am a little cold, but mostly better.

I'm supposed to work tonight from 130-6. I think I'm gonna call in though, because I don't feel that good, like I could give 100%ish, and if Grrr's there tonight, she'll chew my ass out for being slow and not moving at her pace. Nicki said she was in a terrible mood yesterday, and I doubt that'll change anytime soon. Nonetheless, I'm gonna call in after my class.

I found out that if I eat a snacky breakfast in Calc, it's impossible for me to fall asleep. I think maybe I should do that from now on. And maybe my homework would be good too. I gots a lot of catching up to do before our test next Thursday.

On a much brighter note,

I had my advising meeting today. Found out that the school gave me SPA201 and 202, so I don't have to take a language. Also, they gave me HIS105 and 106, so I've fulfilled that for a history minor. Just four more classes and I'll have it! Yay!

You HAVE to read the comment on the blog that I posted yesterday. Theron made up a new version to the Bubbly song which is pretty cute. Click here to see it.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

All Hallow's Eve

Halloween. The best day out of the fall season, not to mention my personal favorite holiday.

I'm dressed up like a goth whore Catholic school girl... complete with hickeys from a cutesy boyfriend who wanted to help with my costume. I think maybe the red fishnets may have been overdoing it with my outfit... I left my stripper boots in my mom's car this morning... Oh well, I have my cute ballet flats. My math professor dressed up this morning like something from "Welcome Back, Kotter", but I was the only one dressed up in my EDU100 class. Sad day. :(

It's about that point in the day where I'm either gonna blast out something awesome (hopefully homework) or sleep... not entirely sure which I should do, but seeing as I'm working in the math tutor lab right now, maybe not sleeping would be good... although I do sleep in Calc, so it would make sense... hmmm...

Theron had a doctor's appointment, and had to leave early. I'm stuck in here until 4, but I'll probably leave at 3 because I have to finish getting ready to go trick or treating at 5, and I haven't eaten all day, except for a peanut butter cup.... which was sooooo tasty, I can't even tell you.

It's about that point in our relationship where I'm starting to figure out that this isn't just a stupid 2 month fling, but like an actual relationship. I'm not afraid of losing him right now. I know that he loves me, and that everything's going to be okay. He's so cute. If you could only see some of the cute things he does, or the cute faces he makes at me... *sigh*

I really like this song, and it's kinda become our song. If you haven't heard it yet, click here and you'll go to the video on youtube. Enjoy!

by Colbie Caillat

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place

And it starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

And it starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

And they start in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

You knew I had a sick sense of humor right?

Although I love the song "I'll Follow You Into the Dark" by Deathcab for Cutie, I was extremely bored one day, and decided to Weird Al-itize it...

First, I just want to say that this is strictly a parody. I would never, EVER think of children this way. Having been molested at a younger age, I believe it is the worst possible thing someone can do to another human being, with rape in second.

That said, hum along and enjoy!

"I'll Follow You Into the Park"
by Kirsten Walters

After 9
they'll send you outside
and I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the park
I watch you play
out here everyday
I wonder what you'd say
if you knew what I wanna do

if ever they decide that my love is justified
eliminate the bars and the predator signs
I want to stand beside you in the dark
I'll follow you into the park

work at school
let you break every rule
tell others to be cool
and take you into the back
and up above
I'll put on my glove
and try to show my love
so we can relax

if ever they decide that my love is justified
eliminate the bars and the predator signs
I want to stand beside you in the dark
I'll follow you into the park

you and me
oughta grow and be free
I'll let you play my Wii
and let you win
we'll leave this town
and go on down
down to Chinatown
with those hot Asian kids

if ever they decide that my love is justified
eliminate the bars and the predator signs
I want to stand beside you in the dark
I'll follow you into the park
I'll follow you into the park

Sunday, October 28, 2007

My weekend...

Saturday went well enough.

Theron woke up at like 830, got out of bed, and didn't wake me up. :( I just thought he was going to the bathroom, but alas, I was wrong. It was actually kinda cute, cos he says he wanted me to get enough sleep.

I had to work from 12-6, but it was Halloween dress day... and I went as a Cyndi Lauper-Madonna-Pat Benatar hyper-80s girl, complete with leg warmers. It was super fun! My friend Nicki brought her kids, and they did face painting, and handed out candy at different spots of the store. Latanya's kids came when she took her lunch and stayed to help, too. It was, like, totally fun to be stuck in the 80's mindset all day.

Then, after work, Theron came and got me. We went to the store and got stuffs to make breakfast for dinner - pancakes & sausage. The only sad thing was that none of the stores we went to had buckwheat flour for pancakes. :( That and my parents were pissy with each other...

Sunday morning started out alright, I suppose, for a Sunday morning. I had to work from 7AM until 2... which was okay I guess, cos I got an hour before we opened to be super slow and finish waking up... and listen to musics. Then, just like Saturday night, the girl that never comes in (but was scheduled at the service desk) *gasp* didn't show up! So guess who had to do that instead of putting up her domestics ads?

I take a break at like 10, cos this lady bitched me out - apparently she thought that Sierra Mist was a Coke product, and therefore on sale with the Coke stuff. Alas, she was incorrect, but still managed to take her anger out on me. Oh well, that's life in customer service...

Then around noon, though, we got extremely busy... Of course, I had almost all new people on checkouts... Which was fine, because most people were understanding about it. Then this super bitch shows up at my friend Mike's register, complaining that all the Halloween stuff is on sale for 33%. First of all, she was wrong about exactly what items were included on that sale (although the sign was a bit misleading, I suppose). It said that the Halloween textiles and decor were on sale... meaning like tablecloths and baskets and such, not decorations. I gave it to her anyways, because that was the right thing to do. First I had to void out the whole transaction, and then ring it all up again, fixing the prices on everything. The woman's sister keeps apologizing to me, because she hates shopping with her sister (because apparently she's ALWAYS a super bitch). I finish fixing the price - the woman is like cussing me out, telling me I have a terrible attitude, and that I shouldn't be on the service desk because I "have the worst attitude of everyone here", but that I should be back in the shoe department, where it's okay if I'm a stupid bitch because no one cares back there. Then she wants the $3 bounty for all that ringing up wrong... which no one taught me how to do on a regular register. SB (super bitch) was furious - "Last time this happened, they did it at the register, and just took the money off - that's what I want." I tried to explain to her that I didn't know how to do that, and she needs to come to the service desk, where I know what to do... which - you can imagine - didn't make her any nicer. In between when Mike was finishing to ring her up and the time she showed up at the service desk, I called Steve up cos she wanted to complain about how terrible a person I am. He's on his way up, and Mike overhears the woman talking to her sister about how I'd better not walk anywhere near the door, because if I did, she was going to grab me by the hair and drag me outside, beat the living shit out of me, and leave me lying in a pool of my own blood. I don't know this until after they're long gone though. She comes up to get the $3 bounty, which I'm only allowed to give out via gift-cards. Apparently, she just wanted it in cash - which I'm not allowed to do. She continues to bitch me out, and then Steve gets there. She spends about half-an-hour yelling about me to him, telling him I need to be fired, meanwhile I'm dealing with other customers - getting red in the face and embarrassed almost to the point of tears. Thankfully, there are SOME customers who try to help the workers feel better. She leaves, and about 10 minutes later, when things settle down a bit, I see Steve making a B-line for me. I feel this huge sense of dread... but he pretty much just tells me he's sorry, that she was completely wrong, that I've got a great attitude, and showed me how to do bounties on regular registers so that I don't have to deal with the service desk as far as that goes.

Needless to say, I took my lunch about now. Tried to call Theron - asleep... mom - asleep... Gramma Patty - asleep... Adam - asleep... Then Theron woke up and calmed me down. I was literally in tears. I hate to think that people think ill of me... especially when I know that they've threatened me, like I found out shortly before going on my lunch. I always try to be the best me possible, and to have somebody be so rude to me - despite saying that she works customer service for a friggin' bank - is retarded. I want to know which bank she works at, go there, and act like a total bitch, see how she likes it... grrr!

I guess some people have to be complete assholes for us to appreciate the nice people (like my sweet girls at work), or our own niceness.

We went out and spent some time with Theron's mom tonight, which was nice. She's cool, and apparently she likes me, which is super awesome.

Theron accidentally closed my finger in his car window... haha. Kinda funny story really though. I rolled my window down a lil to throw out my gum, and he thought I was just going to spit it out... so he was gonna roll up my window so that my gum got stuck to it... alas, my finger was there, and got a lil squished. It really only hurt for like 15 minutes, and then adrenaline kicked in, and I'm all better!

So, I'm guessing that Boston is going to win the World Series again... YAY! I'm glad that the curse has been erased for good now... This is proof of it.

Haha! Theron just found King Kong in Spanish on satellite. That was awesome!

Well, I'm off to bed then. Enjoy your day!