Memorial Day

I missed blogging about the day that we use to help remember people who have served our country! To my defense, my parents were out of town and Theron was over all weekend, and I had to work like all day Sunday, and all night yesterday.

I just want to take the time out to say that I am so proud of the people who serve(d) our country, and I hope that each and every one of them is safe, happy, and healthy. I have two uncles who served in Iraq, and an aunt who was also in the army. I don't know words to express how very proud of them I am, and how very lucky we all are (and grateful too) that they are all safe and sound. I don't know what I would have done had any of them gotten hurt or worse.

So Theron and I went to Chocolate Fest in Burlington on Friday night.It was a lot of fun. I went to my first real concert there. If you guys haven't heard of The Bucket Boys, you should look them up. They're like a two man version of stomp, with silly banter added. They were fun, but I really liked the other group that we went to go see. Todd and Emma Greene are a father/daughter musical duo. He has his own music studio, and a band aside from the stuff that he performs with Emma. They performed with acoustic guitars and an acoustic bass. The songs they performed were really fun songs, and they always added their own spin to it. It really made me want to start working more on my music career...

Theron's dad is covering the Brewers game again tonight. He invited Theron to go, so I get to go too! I'm excited, and it'll be fun to see his dad again.

My parents' car broke down on their way back from Missouri... they're still not home yet, but I know they were taking the car to a mechanic, so hopefully everything is fine.

I hope everyone had a nice, peaceful, and fun weekend.

Reflections on 20

It's always interesting to me to have a birthday. No, it's not for the presents, but more about thinking ahead. Theron sent me an email yesterday about counting your blessings, along with his list of blessings. This year, it seems like I've grown up enough to look ahead into the next 20 years and see the blessings and accomplishments in my future.

In the last 20 years, I've been through so much. I graduated with honors, with two diplomas, and with my International Baccalaureate from high school. I entered college as a Sophomore, despite the fact that I'm staying for all four years in order to get a double major in Religious Studies and History. I found my niche at work, my group of friends there. I don't have a lot of friends otherwise, but a few fairly close people. I've had a mystery disease diagnosed and watched the number of people who have it and are diagnosed correctly skyrocket. It's gone from unbearable to manageable and normal for me. I've lost people I loved, most notably my great grandma Kay. I wonder what she would think of all the things that I've done, how proud she would be. I've moved cross-country, learned a whole new vocabulary, and figured out my political stance. I have a family who loves me. I not only have my family back home, my immediate family here, and dad's family, but I've gotten back in touch with my real dad (if only for one conversation), and gained a whole new family. I've been used, abused, taken for granted, blown off. I've fallen in "love" a few times. Now that I really know what love is, I can truly say that I'm in love for the first time.

I've managed to find someone who understands my insanity, quirkiness, dorkiness and ditziness, and who embraces me because of all that. Theron is all that I ever dreamed my Prince Charming could be, and then some. He puts up with my ranting, my occasional depression, and my unbelievable Belle-like quietness. And because of it all Theron loves me more?!?!? I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.

Looking ahead, I don't know when/where everything will happen. I'll graduate from Carroll and pursue Graduate school somewhere. I'll get my Masters maybe, or my Ph,d..I'll find a school, whether high school or college, to teach at where I can help to enlighten young minds and have an influence on the future. Maybe I'll write a dissertation and/or get a book published.
I know I'll get married and have kids, and that comes with a whole mess of things. I'll get a house, attend PTA meetings, scoot my kids off to piano lessons, baseball practice, dance lessons - all that good stuff. I'll take them on trips to visit my uncles and aunts and their cute kids. Watch them grow up and fall in love - hopefully not get married quite yet though.
I'll lose people that I love, people that I'm close to now. The thing that I hate the most about growing up is the change, even though that's what makes life fun. Learning new things, making new memories, meeting new people - that's what life is about. I just hate the thought of losing people.

As for the near future...

I feel like this year is going to be a good one for me. In the fall, I'll move onto campus and learn what it's like to take care of myself more. I'll be taking fun and challenging classes, learning more and more about the world around me and how it got to be this way.

In the next few weeks, I'll have finals and start the season of working my butt off, in every way. Theron will graduate, and I'll be so proud to see him make that walk. I hope he knows how amazing he is, and how very proud I am to be a part of his life.

As for today, the only gift I can ask for is peace. Not world peace - that won't be achieved in one day, and probably not even in my lifetime. I just want a nice peaceful day, which is already on it's way to ruins by now since no one can put other's needs in front of their pride. I want to talk to my family back home - most of whom I already talked to today - and know that they're alright. Most of all though, I just want my house to feel like a home, one where fighting doesn't happen, even just for 24 hours.

*Wish real hard*

Happy New Years

As always my holidays were filled with drama and stupidness. Grrr.

At work yesterday, I was like a 2-year-old on Christmas eve. I kept counting down the hours until I got to see my hunny again.I ended up getting off work late because I was covering Tyler's lunch in electronics and he always takes forever! As soon as I got up to the front, I get clobbered by Theron. I totally had no clue he was right there. We went to Pizza Hut for dinner, which was fun. I missed him so much and it was so good to be able to spend some time with him. I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world... and I think I am. I got my New Years kiss! :)

Usually my family has some big blow up on the holidays, but this time it was caused by our very special guest, Mr. Mike. I'm not going into details, but we stayed in my room the whole time.

Then of course last night, he has to go off on how disrespectful Kelsey and I are of my mom. Okay, yes, I'll admit, we can be that way just like every child can, especially during puberty and the stresses that we have. However, if he wants to talk about us like that, he'd best to examine his own relationship with his father and the way he speaks to dad.

Whatever, I'm tired of living in a high school where every five seconds I offend someone or there's more drama caused by the inner-brain of a retarded 12-year-old-mindset 24 year old. He should've grown up a long time ago. He keeps blaming his problems on dad and his mom's divorce, but he was 20 at the time. I totally had my shit together when I was 12... I hate immaturity.

I just can't wait until school starts again... or we kick Mike out. Either way, he has to get outta here. He's driving my family crazy and then me too... Grrr.

Christmas Full of Sunshine

The other night at work I got a lamp that simulates real sunshine. It has got to be one of the best things I've ever gotten myself. I've had it on all day when I'm in my room since I got it It's definitely a lot cheaper than going tanning and doesn't result in cancer...

On another note, I'm going up to Theron's house for Christmas this year. He's coming over tonight so we can open presents with him and then we're going to my grandparents house to have dinner and open presents over there, and then we leave for his house. Tomorrow his dad's family and his mom's sister and boyfriend are coming over. I'm excited to be a part of their family Christmas.

Before I get to the crappy part of the last couple of days, I just want to wish you all Merry Christmas!
<3

Ah, and now to my family drama...
After a three hour talk with Mike the other night, he decided to play a game with Kelsey called who can hit the softest. Well, all of us being innocent, we thought it was gonna be a nice game. So she barely touches him, he says "You win" and hits her as hard as he fucking can. She has a terrible bruise on her arm, most of it not having any color yet because of how hard he hit her. We were all upset when he hit her, but didn't realize how very hard it was. I'm not entirely sure of the outcome last night, but there was a serious fight between my parents and him about hitting her and being respectful.

I hope he leaves. Nothing has been peaceful since he got here, and all he does is cause more drama than we've ever had here.

My parents...

are driving down to Kansas City as we speak. My stepbrother Mike got kicked out of his girlfriend's house and has nowhere to go...

If I'm not at work this weekend, that's probably why. I have to take care of my little sister first.

<3

Hee hee....

Theron's so cute.

This morning, he texts me (in the middle of my music alarm, which was playing "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette no less) and asks me if I want him to come pick me up. I think it was the best way to wake up, with the exception of turning over and staring into his gorgeous brown eyes or looking at his sleepy face.

He could be doing so many other things with his time... but he's not... he's with me. He's holding me, cuddling me, being so gentle. He always pushes me to be better, to do my homework, to get stuff done early, to clean my room.

I missed him so much this weekend. Granted, I was working most of the time, but when I was home it was like I had no clue what I wanted to do. I did some homework, watched some TV, spent time with my family... played Lego Star Wars :)

Here is what I'm thankful for...

• Kelsey - No matter how much we fight and act like we hate each other, I hope you know that I wouldn't be the same without you. I love you soooo much. I'm sorry that I don't spend as much time with you as I should. I had so much fun being your big sister all weekend, and your bff! You can kick my ass on Guitar Hero any day!


• Mom - I love you. I hope that you feel better soon. I'm so thankful that you made it through the night. Please sleep and try to get better. I'll take care of what I can as far as cooking okay? You need to take care of you now, so you can get back to taking care of the rest of us. X-P


• Dad - You're super awesome! I'm sad that we don't get to spend that much time together, but I'm so glad that you're in my life.


• Nicki - You make everyday at work worth it. You are the funnest and the silliest gal I know (well, okay, maybe tied with Mama Latonya :). Thanks for all you do to try and make work funner!


• Latonya - I know you're probably not gonna read this, but you are so much fun hun. I love being at work with you because we're always on the same page and always know what to do to get stuff done. You really are like a second mommy to me, and I wanna thank you for listening to me blab on and on about Theron and his cuteness, and for giving me advice.


• Nate & Norene & Girls - I miss you guys so much. I wish that we were still around each other. I'm so excited for Munkey to graduate and be a teacher. Your girls are growing up so fast. They're so adorable and I miss every second of everyday that I used to spend with them, and you two too!


• Nette & Kiddles - I miss you guys. I worry about you a lot. You're so far away, and we don't talk as often as I wish we did. Jonathan, I can remember when you were just a teeny baby. You're such a good kid, and a great big brother. Micah, you're a princess!


• Gramma Patty - I miss you more than you'll ever know. Who else is gonna pick me up after finals and go shopping with me? Get me Dairy Queen? Talk about mommies? I love you!
  


• Theron - You brighten my days and light up my nights. You make everything I've been through worth it. I don't know what I did to be so lucky to get you, but I'll never question it. There aren't even words to describe you - that's what I resort to neology. I love how you push me to be better, how you cheer me up in two seconds, the way you look at me that just screams "I love you!". You make me want to be a better person - clean my room, do my homework, work harder. You keep me on the right track. I know that it's only been two months, but it feels like forever. I feel like I'm myself around you. You are the sweetest, kindest, gentlest man I've ever met, not to mention the most handsome, silliest, and adorable one too! You are more than I could've ever asked more, more than I could've even hoped for - you're my dream come true. I love you so much. I adore you. Be with me, not just now, but for an indeterminate amount of time... forever even. If there's one big thing that this whole weekend away taught me, it's that I can't be without you. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to. You're the only person who knows exactly what I'm thinking, exactly what to say, exactly what to do to make everything seem perfect, even if it isn't. The way you hold me, put your arms around me, kiss me... I've never seen anyone be so sweet. I love you more than you will ever know Mister Sir.

I'm thankful for so much more, but I suppose I can't find the words to say it. Even if I could, would you really want to read a blog 10 miles long? I wouldn't. X-P