Crimma

Christmas was super fun.

Christmas Eve, we went to my grandparents' house and everyone was way more well behaved than usual. My alcoholic cousin was even not drinking as much! She spiked his Game Fuel, which, believe me, tastes a lot better without the vodka. Ugh. Theron was very quiet the whole time, but everyone seemed to like him a lot.

Theron's house was nice and calm compared. I didn't expect to get so much from his family, and I really felt welcomed. Theron got me a Nightmare Before Christmas ornament and a cute animal picture Love book... and the cutest card ever.

It hit me after a comment my mom made and the resulting conversation about it in the car with Theron that this is the best thing that could've happened to me. That man out working right now, earning money to no doubt try and spoil me with, he's like a dream, a dream come true. He makes me smile the biggest I ever have, laugh the hardest - everything is better. I feel like a princess, like everything that has ever happened to me - no matter how unpleasant - has led me here. And I don't even care if we end up together - god, it would be so nice, and I would love nothing more - but if we don't, I know that I'll be okay, that we'll be okay. It was so hard after Nando and I broke up and I didn't think I'd find anyone as good. I thought that I'd end up falling back into being who I was before, a person I didn't like. But when I walked into that room and saw Theron sitting there, my knees buckled and I felt dizzy. I knew there was something special about him, about his gorgeous eyes, his amazing smile, and his witty jokes.

Part of me feels so lonely right now because I know I won't get to see him for a week at least.And I know he's sad too, I can feel it. But I know that if we can make it through the rest of the winter, despite jealousy or loneliness or any of that, that we'll be fine.

I love you Theron Jay, no doubt about that. Nothing is ever gonna change it. Don't worry.

The future is far away right now and there's no telling what it'll bring. All you can do is enjoy the time that you have here and hope that it turns out the way that you dream.