Gah!

It's cold. It wouldn't really bother me except that my metabolism is all low because I haven't eaten yet today, and my sweater - which looked so warm when I bought it - is crap! I should just take it back later...

My body is aching so bad. Not sure whether it's the cold or the fact that I walked so much yesterday... Or that I'm hungry and cranky, and maybe trying to find things to complain about to a whole new audience!

I don't have to work again until Friday night. Hopefully my boss won't be there. Grrr is my manager at Kmart (for safety's sake - thanks Theron). Outside of work, she's an awesome lady - relatively easy to get along with. But when I'm at work... it's a totally different story. It feels like she doesn't think I'm capable of things. I am! I work my butt off everyday that I'm there. I'm the soft home team lead (basically, I manage towels, sheets, pillows, curtains, and other domestical items). I am the only one that does anything in that department. I used to have someone in charge of me, but now I report directly to the managers. They're not hiring anyone else to be my boss either, so I'll be alone there forever! It's extremely hard to take care of all of that and go to school full time. I have a minimum of 20 hours that I have to work in that department, and on top of that I end up doing a million other things. I know how to do everything in that store, so everyone asks me to cover their breaks and such. It's not my fault that there's no one on the floor - let alone anyone who knows how to do hunting licenses or has override numbers or knows where everything is in jewelry! I make more than people that have been there for years - which really actually makes me feel really bad - but it doesn't seem like I'm appreciated by Grrr otherwise. I bake cookies and buy pizza to share with everyone so they're happy, because she's brought down the morale so much that it only takes small things like that... All the best people have started to leave or are looking to, because they can't stand her and the way she manages the place. The store keeps getting worse and worse, because no one cares about having their job anymore - no one cares if they do well, because they hate everything that store is now. I do too, but I at least try to work a little bit. I guess I just feel stretched thin, and being unappreciated isn't helping it.

School is great. I love being in college, and so close to my goal of teaching. I just wish I had figured out that's what I wanted last year, so that I didn't have to stay here longer. My Calc 1 class hasn't been going so well, but hopefully since I'm doing the homework now, and I understand more, I'll be able to do better on the test tomorrow. Crap! I gotta catch up on that fast!

Theron is so cute. I'm sure he's gonna be all, "Why are you bragging about me? Now the people on my baseball blog will think I'm all crazy...ier..." But he really is. He's perfect for me, and it's awesome. I really feel like I have a center now, and whether or not he is it or helped me find it, I'm super grateful.

I got all these Buddhist books the other day, and I'm slowly working on them. It really is mostly what I've believe my whole life. I don't necessarily believe everything, but most of it. Reincarnation? Sure. No soul attached to the reincarnation thing? Not so much. Otherwise, you wouldn't really remember it, right? Not that you do anyway, but when you achieve Nirvana I mean.

For now, I'm going to go get some hot chocolate... or some coffee... maybe Theron won't notice that I had some with my coffee breath... I doubt it though.

Enjoy this fascinating tidbit on JRA:

Many famous people have suffered from RA. Pierre-Auguste Renoir, the 19th-century painter, developed RA in mid-life. His hands became so crippled that his paint brush had to be wedged between his fingers. However, he kept his sense of humour. He joked that he never finished a nude painting until he thought he could pinch it!

Comedy queen Lucille Ball of "I Love Lucy" fame had rheumatoid arthritis when she was 17 but that didn’t stop her from pursuing her dreams. Her first attack came while she was working as a model for Hattie Carnegie’s famous dress shop. She felt excruciating pain in her legs and the doctor who saw her said she would probably end up in a wheelchair as a result of the disease. Lucy was later referred to an orthopedic clinic near Columbia University where she was given experimental "horse serum" shots for several weeks that drained her money but didn’t stop the pain. Frightened and discouraged, she returned to her parent’s home in Jamestown, New York. "Gradually the pain subsided and finally one day with the support of her father and doctor, Lucy stood up, feeling wobbly and unsteady. Her left leg was now somewhat shorter than her right leg and it pulled sideways. To correct this, she began wearing a 20 - pound weight in one of her black orthopedic shoes. Though Lucy had residual pain she was able to take a part offered her with the Jamestown Players and she later returned to New York City in search of her dreams," said Carol and Richard Eustice - the people behind About.com’s Arthritis Guide who both have rheumatoid arthritis as well.

Hollywood star Kathleen Turner was so bothered by the pain of rheumatoid arthritis that she had suicidal thoughts.Rosalind Russell, star of the silver screen, had severe RA and did much to garner support for the advancement of research into this disease.

Aida Turturro- Aida Turturro plays Tony Soprano's conniving sister, Janice, on the HBO series "The Sopranos" , AND has suffered from rheumatoid arthritis since she was a child.

Camryn Manheim- "I went to several doctors before visiting a rheumatologist who finally diagnosed the painful swelling and stiffness in my joints as rheumatoid arthritis," says Camryn. "It took close to eight months for me to get properly diagnosed and treated. I lost valuable time, and the joint damage I sustained is irreversible. I'm sharing my story with the hope that it will inspire others to take control of their rheumatoid arthritis by learning more about the disease and working with a rheumatologist to manage it." Camryn first noticed the pain and stiffness in her fingers while she was practicing sign language, a passion of hers for more than 20 years. Initially, Camryn was told the pain was due to aging, but because of the severity of her symptoms, Camryn knew it was something more. It wasn't until Camryn conducted her own research and consulted with a rheumatologist that she received a proper diagnosis and found a treatment regimen that worked for her. Now, Camryn's symptoms are under control and she again has the energy to enjoy her normal daily activities, like teaching sign language and playing with her four-year-old son. Camryn's rheumatologist also is managing her treatment process closely to ensure she does not endure additional joint destruction.

-I got this from Michelle's Myspace page on Fighting Rheumatoid Arthritis - check it out on my JRA links list.