Yesterday we were talking about love in one of my religion classes. I really like Dr. Vance - he's a great professor, but in general he's an awesome guy. But I digress...
We were talking about the difference between being in love with love itself and being in love with the person you think you're in love with. Augustine said that the bishop's curse is to be in love with the fact that he loves God, not actually loving God himself. But I began to think that this curse could be applied to romantic love as well. This led to a HUGE epiphany for me - and right in the middle of class too!
It made me think of my past relationships. In high school, I was really in love with love and the fact that I was 'loved.' And even some of my more recent relationships seem to be the same thing. As much as I loved Adam and Nando both, it seems like I was still in that phase. And it seems like most of my insecurities and anxiety/separation issues stem from that problem. I never knew when the love was gonna wear off, and I was so scared it would be the second we were apart.
But with Theron... it's completely different. While I don't like that we don't get to see each other all that much right now, I'm okay with it. I can honestly say that I want the best things in the world to happen to him and for him. Hopefully, our happily ever afters match up and the best things for him involve me. As sad as it would be if they didn't, I love him so much that I will just be grateful for the time that I've gotten to spend with him. I really am in love with him, and it feels so amazing.
:)
EDIT: I decided, since I got a camera now, to post this as a video - my first vlog! ZOMG!
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