Heath Ledger

He was found dead today in his Brooklyn apartment which takes up the entire fourth floor of the building.

I remember a time in my life, much like other girls about my age, when I was obsessed with the Australian heartthrob. When I found out today that he had died, it was like being smacked with a ton of bricks labeled "Mortality." This man, this person was someone I had idolized when he was just 19 - my age. To think that now, at 28, he is gone forever, never to grace another premiere, never to light up the red carpet with his amazing smile... it is heart-wrenching. Maybe it hits me harder because of my depression, imagination, border-line obsession. Maybe I am just a silly girl who overreacts, overthinks.

I only hope that Michelle will be there for Matilda and not go over the deep end.

In true smart ass, I-have-to-make-jokes-to-get-through-emotional-times fashion, here are the 10 things I will miss about Heath Ledger, in no particular order.

All he did to help troubled youth.
His amazing acting ability.
Seeing pictures of him and Matilda out on the town.
His wit.
Waiting to see how he challenges himself with his roles.
How he brought all of himself to a role and was able to get so immersed into it.
His wonderful sense of humor.
His smile.
His eyes.
The way a room lit up when he laughed or smiled.

It has been quite a sobering day for me, but one where I've seized my life and made the most of it. Hopefully his death with help others realize what little time we have on this earth, and that we have to live life to its fullest and live every second as if it was our last.