Happy Belated Valentines Day

Theron and I made enchiladas. You can find the recipe for them here. In lieu of store-bought sauce, we made the kind here.





I trust everyone had a good cheesy Hallmark day. I'm off to go enjoy feeling ill on the couch.

No, it's not from the enchiladas... although you may want to lower the amount of spices in it if you're not into the hot thing.

CPEЋAH БOЖИЋ

That's cyrillic Serbian for "Merry Christmas!" :)

Serbians and other followers of the Eastern Orthodox Church use the Julian calendar, which places their Christmas on January 7th instead of December 25th.

Here's some fun stuff to learn about it:

On Christmas Eve, families gather and all families fast and don't eat food that comes from animals. It is the last day of the Christmas fast. Christmas is a very religious holiday and most people go to the Christmas Services.

There are a lot of old Serbian traditions associated with the countryside, which have now lost their meaning because more people live in towns and cities. On the morning of Christmas Eve the father of the family used to go to the forest to cut a young oak called the 'Badnjak' (Christmas Eve tree) but today people just buy one. Under the table there should also be some straw as a symbol of the stable/cave where Jesus was born.

At Christmas a special kind of bread is eaten. It's called 'cesnica' and each member of the family gets a piece (and the house does too). There is a coin hidden in it and whoever gets the coin will be particularly fortunate in the next year!

Nifty huh?

So, on behalf of my Serbian side of my "family" (Hi Theron!), CPEЋAH БOЖИЋ!

Note: I'm still working on my monsterous JRA post, so look for that soon.

Surf or Sex?

I might have problems, but I'm wondering exactly who would give up sex for two weeks in order to have the internet in their home? Almost half of women, and less than a third of men apparently would.

I'm guessing either these people aren't in a relationship or don't get jiggy with their partners/friend's partners/random people that often. Now, maybe it's just me, but I fail to see the benefits of this. I mean, sure, a lot of people need the internet for work and such. It's an interestingly sad commentary on our society that people are more interested in their jobs, facebook, and internet porn than spending some love time with their significant other.

On the other hand, intimacy is the important thing, not the sex.

Now, here goes my [not so] wholesome image... and Theron's (sorry hun).

I love Theron with all my heart. We have a wonderful relationship. I'm pretty sure that the internet could never match the intimacy that we share, with or without sex. The sex isn't important, but the intimacy is. Still, I think that picking the internet over Theron is the wrong way to go in any situation.

Maybe it's just because I'm a romantic hippie, or because after almost a year and a half I'm still crazily head over heels for him, but love should be the most important thing in our lives. Can anyone imagine how the world would change if that were the case? If we all actually started practicing the teachings from all the great religious figures {The Buddha, Jesus, Muhammed, etc}? I think we could actually have a good chance at world peace if people stopped looking out for their best interests and started looking out for others.

So if you were asked, what would you do? Pick the person you're supposed to treasure or the internet that seems like it gets in the way enough already?

Let's Just Pretend Like It's The Weekend

It's starting to get colder, like that's really any surprise given that we're as quarter of the way through November. While I'm excited for snow, I'm definitely not excited about how the cold weather is already affecting my joints.

It's days like this when I just want to curl up in a ball and be lazy-cuddly all day. Jack Johnson has always been one of my favorite artists, but for today he's all that's playing on my computer. I really could go for some Banana Pancakes right now. :)

I miss the times where it was just so easy to curl up with Theron and snuggle all day. I hope that the holidays bring a little more snuggle time.

L Is For The Way You Look At Me

Yesterday we were talking about love in one of my religion classes. I really like Dr. Vance - he's a great professor, but in general he's an awesome guy. But I digress...

We were talking about the difference between being in love with love itself and being in love with the person you think you're in love with. Augustine said that the bishop's curse is to be in love with the fact that he loves God, not actually loving God himself. But I began to think that this curse could be applied to romantic love as well. This led to a HUGE epiphany for me - and right in the middle of class too!

It made me think of my past relationships. In high school, I was really in love with love and the fact that I was 'loved.' And even some of my more recent relationships seem to be the same thing. As much as I loved Adam and Nando both, it seems like I was still in that phase. And it seems like most of my insecurities and anxiety/separation issues stem from that problem. I never knew when the love was gonna wear off, and I was so scared it would be the second we were apart.

But with Theron... it's completely different. While I don't like that we don't get to see each other all that much right now, I'm okay with it. I can honestly say that I want the best things in the world to happen to him and for him. Hopefully, our happily ever afters match up and the best things for him involve me. As sad as it would be if they didn't, I love him so much that I will just be grateful for the time that I've gotten to spend with him. I really am in love with him, and it feels so amazing.

:)

EDIT: I decided, since I got a camera now, to post this as a video - my first vlog! ZOMG!

One Whole Year!

As of tomorrow, Theron and I will have been together for a whole year.

It's funny to think of how much my life has changed in the past year. When I look back at my life before Theron, I just take for granted that he was there somehow.

I haven't seen him since move in day (almost three weeks!) but he's coming down today to spend the weekend with me. :)

That said, unless I see something ridiculous, I will not be online that much this weekend, much less posting bloggings about crazy stories... so have a good weekend everybody!

I'm Better Off Without You

So my ex from high school called me the other day. I was at work, and we ended up playing a nice game of phone tag. I finally was able to get back to him tonight, only to have him tell me that he never wants to talk to me again. John is ridiculously stupid, so it's not like it's that big a deal.

I clearly have no problem with this other than the fact that we never talk anyway. He went out of his way to call me for the first time in three or four months to tell me he doesn't want to talk to me... Literally, I've talked to him twice this year.

Apparently when I broke up with him the first time (yes, there was more than one), it really screwed him up. We had an honest conversation a few months back about his fiancee and how threatened I felt when we had been going out. One of the biggest reasons I broke up with him was because of the relationship that I could see beginning to form. I knew at some point that it would come down to her or me, and that I would be the one left out.

The funniest thing about this whole conversation was that I kept thinking about Theron - how much more eloquently he would put it, how there would be no phone call if I had broken his heart and he moved on, how ridiculous it all was.

It's amazing how someone from the past can remind you how good you have it right now.

I'm sure that it's embarrassing for Theron to read about himself and how wonderful I think he is, but I like embarrassing him. :) He really is amazingly wonderful. There might be days where I get annoyed with him, where I'm not as understanding of his needs, where I flirt with other people a little too much... But he is my dream man. He's everything that I've read and dreamed about since I was a little girl, and sometimes I forget that I went for so long without him. I love him more than he'll ever know, and I'm so excited for the rest of our lives to start.

The Brewers

The game last night was amazing. Theron put me in charge of taking pictures, and needless to say there are a ton compared to last time. We also sat in a better spot (you know, one where we could actually see the field?). We did more touristy things this time then we did before - pictures of the stadium, the statues, all the home boys. Although, I'm sure Theron was a little irked to see how many of those pictures were of Ryan Braun stretching...

Oh, and I guess winning helped too.

Two of the guys from Brew Crew Ball came out - Steve and Jeff, who actually runs the blog. It was fun to feel a little more connected to the guys as my baseball knowledge is getting better.

And I felt like Theron's dad and I got along without as much awkwardness as there usually seems to be when we're together. I'm sure it'll get better the more that we spend time together, and the more I know about sports. I swear, sometimes it's like their speaking a completely different language, where I only know the important phrases, like "Where is the bathroom?"

But it really was a pleasant evening, and I can't wait to do it again sometime.

Theron gave me his high school class ring yesterday. I don't know why, but for some reason it made me really happy. Even while I was scrubbing the service desk perfectly clean all morning, I was happy. It is really pretty and fits perfectly.

Oh, and a note to Phenylketuronics - the new and "improved" version of Big Red has Phenylalanine in it, so try and buy up the last real packs while you can.

Carroll University?

Well, it's official - Carroll College becomes Carroll University on July 1st, 2008.

I have mixed feelings about this.

I like it because it'll be easier for people to discern our school from the one in Montana or wherever it is.

But I dislike it for a multitude of reasons.

Theron just graduated from Carroll COLLEGE. Despite going to the same school, I will not graduate from Carroll College but Carroll university. Sure, he can get a diploma printed with "University" on it, but I doubt he'll want to. I would rather graduate with "College" on my diploma. I wonder if they'd do that for those of us who dislike the name change. I doubt it, but oh well.

On top of that, I own tons of Carroll College stuff - shorts, sweatshirts, lanyards, etc. I'm sure someday they'll become some sort of collector's item and it'll be nice to still wear them and remember the "good old days." But alas, I'd feel weird wearing all that to school now. So what, I'm gonna have to buy new copies of everything? Poo on that.

I just sent the following to Carroll via the feedback form. If anyone else has the same feeling about the school, please feel free to copy and paste, but alter to match your situation:

"I think that for those of us currently enrolled in the college, it'd be nice to have the option to choose whether our diploma will say college or university. Incoming freshman should be the last class for whom that'll be an option. Theron just graduated along with a whole mess of my friends, and I still have two years left. My grandpa graduated from Carroll College too. It saddens me to think that I won't be graduating with the same name on my diploma. So, in addition to allowing the alumni to get "university" printed on their diplomas, it'd be nice to let us have the option to choose. I know that I would be far less upset about the name change if that was the case."

I don't think that's too much to ask, right? They apparently read every comment sent, so please leave feedback.

If you have any questions about the name change, click here and go to the FAQs site.

School's Out for Summer

So nice! Although I know that I'll miss it a bunch over the summer.

I spent this whole past week with Theron, soaking up the sun, playing catch, and playing this super awesome game.It was really nice to have off of work too. Needless to say though, I really haven't been on the computer since Saturday. It was really weird to drive to Carroll tonight and see how very empty it was. I'm sure it felt emptier knowing that Theron was home. Oh well, it'll be busy this weekend at least.

I've been debating what to holler when Theron is up getting his diploma on Sunday, but all I can think of is "Whoo!" It's lame, I know, but I'll be next to his parents, so I have to keep it a little closer to PG-13 than I'd like. Maybe "I love you!"? I dunno, that seems a little weird. Hmph.

Even though I asked Susan for this weekend off A MONTH AGO, she scheduled me. I talked to the store manager about it today though and she understands how important it is for me to be there for Theron. She's not super happy about it, but at least she is okay with me not being there and still having a job next week.

I'm a little upset that the Brewers keep losing. I'm sure that they'll be able to work themselves out of the slump at some point, but I'm really hoping that being back at home tomorrow helps. The schedule they've been on lately is pretty tough, so it's a little understandable.

I'll post more next week, but in the meantime, be sure to check out the fun links I have on my site. The comics are especially silly and enjoyable.

It is a really weird feeling to be home without Theron here after having him around for like five days. *sigh* Now to see how well I will sleep...

Reflections on 20

It's always interesting to me to have a birthday. No, it's not for the presents, but more about thinking ahead. Theron sent me an email yesterday about counting your blessings, along with his list of blessings. This year, it seems like I've grown up enough to look ahead into the next 20 years and see the blessings and accomplishments in my future.

In the last 20 years, I've been through so much. I graduated with honors, with two diplomas, and with my International Baccalaureate from high school. I entered college as a Sophomore, despite the fact that I'm staying for all four years in order to get a double major in Religious Studies and History. I found my niche at work, my group of friends there. I don't have a lot of friends otherwise, but a few fairly close people. I've had a mystery disease diagnosed and watched the number of people who have it and are diagnosed correctly skyrocket. It's gone from unbearable to manageable and normal for me. I've lost people I loved, most notably my great grandma Kay. I wonder what she would think of all the things that I've done, how proud she would be. I've moved cross-country, learned a whole new vocabulary, and figured out my political stance. I have a family who loves me. I not only have my family back home, my immediate family here, and dad's family, but I've gotten back in touch with my real dad (if only for one conversation), and gained a whole new family. I've been used, abused, taken for granted, blown off. I've fallen in "love" a few times. Now that I really know what love is, I can truly say that I'm in love for the first time.

I've managed to find someone who understands my insanity, quirkiness, dorkiness and ditziness, and who embraces me because of all that. Theron is all that I ever dreamed my Prince Charming could be, and then some. He puts up with my ranting, my occasional depression, and my unbelievable Belle-like quietness. And because of it all Theron loves me more?!?!? I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.

Looking ahead, I don't know when/where everything will happen. I'll graduate from Carroll and pursue Graduate school somewhere. I'll get my Masters maybe, or my Ph,d..I'll find a school, whether high school or college, to teach at where I can help to enlighten young minds and have an influence on the future. Maybe I'll write a dissertation and/or get a book published.
I know I'll get married and have kids, and that comes with a whole mess of things. I'll get a house, attend PTA meetings, scoot my kids off to piano lessons, baseball practice, dance lessons - all that good stuff. I'll take them on trips to visit my uncles and aunts and their cute kids. Watch them grow up and fall in love - hopefully not get married quite yet though.
I'll lose people that I love, people that I'm close to now. The thing that I hate the most about growing up is the change, even though that's what makes life fun. Learning new things, making new memories, meeting new people - that's what life is about. I just hate the thought of losing people.

As for the near future...

I feel like this year is going to be a good one for me. In the fall, I'll move onto campus and learn what it's like to take care of myself more. I'll be taking fun and challenging classes, learning more and more about the world around me and how it got to be this way.

In the next few weeks, I'll have finals and start the season of working my butt off, in every way. Theron will graduate, and I'll be so proud to see him make that walk. I hope he knows how amazing he is, and how very proud I am to be a part of his life.

As for today, the only gift I can ask for is peace. Not world peace - that won't be achieved in one day, and probably not even in my lifetime. I just want a nice peaceful day, which is already on it's way to ruins by now since no one can put other's needs in front of their pride. I want to talk to my family back home - most of whom I already talked to today - and know that they're alright. Most of all though, I just want my house to feel like a home, one where fighting doesn't happen, even just for 24 hours.

*Wish real hard*

You Throw Like a Girl

This is more Theron's thing, but I decided maybe I might write about some fun baseball goings-ons.

Kawamoto technical high school was beat by Shunshukan high in Tokyo, Japan. Not that exciting, except if you note that Shunshukan scored SIXTY-SIX runs in just TWO innings - 26 in the first inning and the other 40 in the second. Kawamoto's coach begged for the game to be over, not only to save his players and fans from the loss of self-esteem, but to save his pitcher's arm. He could've thrown over 500 pitches before the game ended, with a huge possibility of injury. Officially, they were credited with a 9-0 win, to make Kawamoto feel more respected I suppose. I tried to find a video, but to no avail.

On Friday, April 25th, I'm going to the Brewers/Marlins game. I'm pretty excited. I've only been to a few freshman baseball games, which aren't really rule-following sadly. Hopefully, they'll win. Theron's dad does some sports coverage, so he'll be there too. Unfortunately, we won't be able to be in the press box for the game, but we'll get to be there beforehand. Plus, we're sitting out where the foul balls get hit, so there's a chance I'll get a real Major League ball! I hope I get to meet Ryan Braun :) Nah, I really hope that Theron and I have tons o' fun, which is almost guaranteed.

That said, Theron has been teaching me how to play baseball a little bit. Pretty much, we've just been playing catch. But it's helping to break in my glove, and giving me some confidence. I can kinda throw alright now, and I'm getting better at catching the ball. Hopefully, it'll improve with even more practice. At the very least, I feel good about being able to throw things better, so that's good.

I'm sure I'll post and let everyone know how it went. I have all of next weekend off work for my birthday. As much as I love everyone at Kmart, I need a comfy weekend without the stress. I'll probably post before then, but if not, definitely around there then. I hope everyone has a great week!

Love

Yet another post spurred by a friend's myspace bulletin. She posted a survey about her love life, and it got me to thinking. It was about the little things - money, food, chores. We're always so quick to talk about the everyday idiosyncrasies that we love and hate, but somehow that makes us lose track of the big picture, the best things - the way they make us feel.

Everyone is guilty of this. Some of us get too attached, others not attached enough.We all get too short with our loved ones, and don't apologize sometimes when we should. And I know that a lot of us who have been hurt in the past have a hard time trusting those we love and worrying that we're not good enough, not perfect.

I think that if we could step back from the everyday snippy comments, insecurities, and annoyances, and look at why we feel in love with our sweethearts, we would appreciate them more. Love isn't easy, but it is worth it. It is a part of the hierarchy of needs for a reason.

I'm sure that first when we analyze we'll see the physical things that we like. Theron's smile just threw me overboard. His eyes are amazing, but the way they light up when he smiles... it's indescribable. The day I met him, that's what immediately attracted me physically.

Then we'd probably move on to the next thing we notice - more than likely a (lack of) sense of humor and personality. For most people, we need someone enough like us that they dorky, silly things we do don't make us feel stupid. Someone who can understand the things we've been through, who we can relate to. But we also need someone different enough that we get along well. Theron and I have led different lives by far, but our interests are similar, we understand each other, and we can look past the other stresses in each other's lives to see the real person and his/her feelings.

If my past relationships have taught me anything, it's that the first month of one is so easy -- figuring out the easy boundaries, discovering the other person... honestly, it's more infatuation than love. But true love isn't always easy, but is hard and a difficult journey. If we work hard enough, maybe, just maybe, we can get past the mundane anger and frustration and truly appreciate the people close to us.
___________________

In other news, I got a car. Well, my mom got a different car and I get hers rather. I have most of this week off, which will be nice for reading and catching up/getting ahead on homework. And I think I'm starting to get over being sickly. My arthritis is being crap lately, but that's to be expected with more humid weather.

My Life Right Now

My hands are getting ugly because of the arthritis. My pointer fingers have started to turn inward towards my middle fingers, and my pinkys are getting a lot more curved. Both my middle fingers are swollen a lot lately, but the right one is way worse. I gotta stop popping my fingers... Eek.

Theron is totally trying to help me figure out how to take care of my hands and arthritis. I think maybe he's scared too a little... I'm super scared, but I try not to show it, especially for him and Kelsey. She has this too, after all, and I don't want her to be afraid of turning out like me the rest of her life.

School is going great. I'm having a lot of fun. Kim is the nicest teacher I think I've ever had, and I really like having her as a friend too.

While it gets really tiring working two jobs, I'm okay with it. I'm bringing in pretty good money right now. Almost got my credit card payed off and starting to save up for my first car! Kmart isn't being so bad now either - now that Grrr knows that I can do layouts, she respects me a little more I think... which is sooo nice. Not to mention it's nice to have Nando & Lucas back from their various trips. Although I never get to see Megan anymore :'( She's going to Jamaica with her mom later this month, and totally not taking me! *pout* I suppose I could go next year... :)

I'm kinda nervous for my mom. She has to drive to the University of Michigan tomorrow for training for her other job and the car is crap... and so is the weather. I know that she'll be okay, but she still worries me... not to mention that's a whole week without mom... so I kinda have to be mom... which isn't easy if you're not super-human.

I got to talk to my real dad for the first time this weekend. It was a little awkward, but it went well I think. Theron had just gone to bed and I thought maybe I'd just write Chris an email. I'd been meaning to contact him for quite some time, but was entirely too nervous. The email ended up sounding okay, and I figured I couldn't do much better... so I sent it. I was so happy the next day when I got the reply. He already knew a lot about the things that I was involved in, per google. Funny thing is, that was how I was keeping tabs on him too. Sunday night he called me. He was nervous too, so that made it a lot better. I have a brother who's nine and a little baby sibling too! It was really good to talk to him. I know that everyone was a bit nervous and jealous at my house, but I feel a little more complete. I think now that I'm older I can understand why certain choices were made so I'm not so angry anymore.

Sorry I've not been posting a lot lately. Life just feels so hectic, you know?

*sigh*

Last week was entirely too long, and thus my exhaustion on the last post. I am so happy that today marks the beginning of a new one, and hopefully a better one.

Saturday I spent some much needed quality time with Theron. I think we were both burned out and tired and needed a day or two away from reality. I won tickets to the Great Lakes Pet Expo. This huge Alaskan malamute licked my face like an ice cream cone and we got to see the cute swimming turtles. Other than that and the agility show, it was pretty boring. We went out to brunch (I suppose, since it was a lil too late for breakfast) and then I had to work... which meant, of course, that I was totally not doing what I was scheduled to do... Oh well, the rest of my weekend was good.

The Super Bowl went exactly how I pictured it. Giants upset undefeated Patriots, wipping smug, confident smile off of Brady's face and making life hell for Gisele Bündchen for at least a few days. This site has the 10 things that the Patriots can blame for losing the game... on their side anyway. I liked this comment - "I feel sorry for Gisele Bundchen. Now she'll have to put up with Tom's sulking tantrums for the next couple months." :)

I'm feeling much more upbeat now, and hopefully that'll hold for a while.

I have my driver's test soon... eek! Megan just got hers, so I'm sure I'll pass. Hehe.

Okay, Okay

Yeah, told ya I'd be working a lot. Sorry it's taken me a while.

Told Susan that I'd rather be at the service desk than in domestics. She was super happy because I'm nice enough to the customers that I can really excel up there. Had an Afghani guy hit on my today... It was the same one, this time accompanied by his friend, who had been a total ass to me last night. The customer behind him said last night said that he was afraid the guy was going to jump the counter and kick my ass... hehe

I'm so excited! Theron comes back from his house tomorrow for school. Knowing how he rolls, I probably won't see him until Monday, but at least he'll be around-ish. And now neither of us have super early classes, so that will be nice.

School starts on Monday. I'm super excited. I got my books and all except one of Theron's, simply because it wasn't in yet. At least the government is good for something X-P

I totally overhauled my room last night and organized it quite a bit. Now I just have to work on organizing my closet and I'll be all set. I work 8-4 tomorrow at the service desk. I'm gonna try to get some totes and organize my closet.

Anyhow, I gotta run.

Stewart/Colbert '08

Note: I've been working a lot. Don't feel neglected - I haven't even been returning phone calls to my friends. I got a second job working with my parents Mon-Wed, working at Kmart the other days of the week until school starts.

No, Jon and Stephen haven't thrown their hats into the Presidential race Since Stephen's failed attempt at running in South Carolina, I doubt that will happen for another 4 years at least. But, the duo have returned to late night... without their writers, due to the strike. I have to say, I love them both immensely, but Stephen, you are way better without writers than Jon. I don't know what it is, but you just have something that screams "Laugh!"

Mike is still here. My sister still wants to die and/or kill him. It got so bad the other night that I pretty much had my baseball bat on me at all times. I just didn't feel comfortable.

The Hot Topic in Brookfield Square is closing! But I got a lot of cute stuff for under 6 bucks, especially for there..

Theron's great grandma died. :( I am so sorry for Theron and their family, but very happy for her. He surprised me tonight by being in town and taking me out to dinner with his mom. After a week of not seeing him, it was a very welcomed night out. Since we were with his mom, we weren't quite as lovey as normal - which is always the case - but still, it was nice to see his smile and get a kiss or two. :) Our moms met tonight too, so that was nice to get out of the way. And school starts in about a week and a half, so I'll finally get Theron all to myself - mwahahahaha!

Happy New Years

As always my holidays were filled with drama and stupidness. Grrr.

At work yesterday, I was like a 2-year-old on Christmas eve. I kept counting down the hours until I got to see my hunny again.I ended up getting off work late because I was covering Tyler's lunch in electronics and he always takes forever! As soon as I got up to the front, I get clobbered by Theron. I totally had no clue he was right there. We went to Pizza Hut for dinner, which was fun. I missed him so much and it was so good to be able to spend some time with him. I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world... and I think I am. I got my New Years kiss! :)

Usually my family has some big blow up on the holidays, but this time it was caused by our very special guest, Mr. Mike. I'm not going into details, but we stayed in my room the whole time.

Then of course last night, he has to go off on how disrespectful Kelsey and I are of my mom. Okay, yes, I'll admit, we can be that way just like every child can, especially during puberty and the stresses that we have. However, if he wants to talk about us like that, he'd best to examine his own relationship with his father and the way he speaks to dad.

Whatever, I'm tired of living in a high school where every five seconds I offend someone or there's more drama caused by the inner-brain of a retarded 12-year-old-mindset 24 year old. He should've grown up a long time ago. He keeps blaming his problems on dad and his mom's divorce, but he was 20 at the time. I totally had my shit together when I was 12... I hate immaturity.

I just can't wait until school starts again... or we kick Mike out. Either way, he has to get outta here. He's driving my family crazy and then me too... Grrr.

Last Post of 2007

It's true!

Adult Swim's contract to show Futurama ends tonight. :( I really love that show and it's so sad that I won't be able to watch it all the time. It's been really nice to watch the marathons on all weekend, but the last episode they're showing ends tonight at 10. I'm going to try and find the seasons on DVD so I can watch them whenever I want.

So at work yesterday morning, I ended up fixing my knee in the worst way possible. My foot got caught on a box when I was climbing over one of the conveyor belt things in the stockroom that I have to climb over to get to my stock.I hit right by my knee really hard and it instantly swelled. Here's what it looks like now. The weird black things are because my camera phone sucks, haha.

Pretty bad right? My theory is all the pressure that had built up in my knee got released into the bruise, because my knee is 100% better now.

On a super happy note, I get to see Theron tonight. He's picking me up from work and coming over for the night. I'm so glad that both of us have tomorrow off to be able to spend together. After that, I know for sure that I'll be able to see him on the 10th for dinner and after he moves back into his dorm a week later. And no, it's not because he's sooo sweet that I have to see him sparingly.

Well I'm off to shower before work. Enjoy your last day of the year!

Crimma

Christmas was super fun.

Christmas Eve, we went to my grandparents' house and everyone was way more well behaved than usual. My alcoholic cousin was even not drinking as much! She spiked his Game Fuel, which, believe me, tastes a lot better without the vodka. Ugh. Theron was very quiet the whole time, but everyone seemed to like him a lot.

Theron's house was nice and calm compared. I didn't expect to get so much from his family, and I really felt welcomed. Theron got me a Nightmare Before Christmas ornament and a cute animal picture Love book... and the cutest card ever.

It hit me after a comment my mom made and the resulting conversation about it in the car with Theron that this is the best thing that could've happened to me. That man out working right now, earning money to no doubt try and spoil me with, he's like a dream, a dream come true. He makes me smile the biggest I ever have, laugh the hardest - everything is better. I feel like a princess, like everything that has ever happened to me - no matter how unpleasant - has led me here. And I don't even care if we end up together - god, it would be so nice, and I would love nothing more - but if we don't, I know that I'll be okay, that we'll be okay. It was so hard after Nando and I broke up and I didn't think I'd find anyone as good. I thought that I'd end up falling back into being who I was before, a person I didn't like. But when I walked into that room and saw Theron sitting there, my knees buckled and I felt dizzy. I knew there was something special about him, about his gorgeous eyes, his amazing smile, and his witty jokes.

Part of me feels so lonely right now because I know I won't get to see him for a week at least.And I know he's sad too, I can feel it. But I know that if we can make it through the rest of the winter, despite jealousy or loneliness or any of that, that we'll be fine.

I love you Theron Jay, no doubt about that. Nothing is ever gonna change it. Don't worry.

The future is far away right now and there's no telling what it'll bring. All you can do is enjoy the time that you have here and hope that it turns out the way that you dream.