It's time to stop kidding myself

Given the almost two-month hiatus, I think it's safe to say that this blog has taken a backseat to everything I've been doing. It's not something that I want to do, but it's time to just admit that this blog isn't something that I can do anymore.

Lame.

I'll still be writing on my other blog, Not Standing Still's Disease.

Oh Israel

So the three Gazan men killed by Israeli fire on Sunday have been found to have no link whatsoever with terrorist organizations. Amazing.

At the time, Israeli army radio described the men as "terrorists", but Gen Ayal Eisenberg now says the soldiers made a mistake.

"The civilians killed by our soldiers' fire... were not involved in any terrorist operation," he told army radio.
"Our soldiers identified a civilian who was picking up an RPG [rocket propelled grenade] and, thinking he was going to fire at them, opened fire" in his direction, he added.

....


Separately, a report published by an Israeli human rights group found that Israeli soldiers who kill Palestinians were rarely punished.
The B'Tselem report released on Tuesday said that the military investigated only 22 of 148 cases submitted by the group.
No criminal charges were brought in any of the cases, which involved the killing of 288 Palestinian civilians between 2006 and 2009, it said.

How is it that one of the most powerful nations in the world (theoretically speaking, of course) can continue to provide support - both physical and financial - to a country who seems to be able to kill others with impunity. Can you say genocide in the making?

Yikes

And so it's been over a month again. I really feel like, at this point in my life, this blog just isn't going to be updated that much anymore. I start school in a week and a half, which might lead to me posting interesting things about current events/history, but for the most part I'm really focused on writing about my RA.

If you haven't already, go on over and check out my other blog, Not Standing Still's Disease.

Baseball Interview

I'm just going to shamelessly plug an interview I did recently, with the Brewers #1 draft pick Dylan Covey. Head on over to the SB Nation Brewers fan blog, Brew Crew Ball, to check it out.

Neda

The year anniversary of Neda's death is fast approaching. The news coming out of Iran has slowed, but there are still people fighting for their right to a fair vote, and to have their voices heard.

Andrew Sullivan at the Atlantic, whom I've mentioned before, is one of the places that is still putting out news on the state of affairs in Iran. A reader wrote in with information on a new Airborne Toxic Event song, titled "Neda." Please watch the video below.



For the band's words on this new video and song, please go to their website, with more information on how to get involved.

Jeez

It's been a month again. I feel like I have little to no energy to keep updating this site regularly, but definitely will use it occasionally. Read it as often as you like I s'pose.

I'd just like to say that I'm pissed. It's now what - day 42 of the oil spill? We're trying all these things that might theoretically work, maybe... if we clap our hands and say we believe in fairies. One of my friends posted a story on facebook yesterday about the Russians using nukes to stop natural gas leaks/fires. Um, how stupid is that? The gulf coast is too close to too many people to even think about doing that.

I think one of the most disappointing things is how the BP execs are handling this situation, making statements like they want this over because they want their lives back?? What about the animals that have died and the people losing their livelihoods because of their newfound inability to fish? I'm pretty sure they'd like their lives back too.

Why didn't a control burn happen at the beginning to prevent it from getting this bad? Why is it going to take them two months to build the only 'sure fire' way to end this? It seems to me that it has to do with preserving as much money as they can and not with protecting the environment or helping the people. Businesses have entirely too much say over how they handle these disasters. The chemical dispersant they're using is making things worse for the animals and not actually breaking up. That video is chilling to watch.

The new plan is to try and build a new pipe and get the oil to the surface. This could not only allow for more leaks when joining the two pipes together, but also backfire and just increase the flow overall into the gulf.

The only sure way to avoid disasters like this is to eliminate our dependence on oil. We need to stop drilling off our coasts and start investing more heavily in alternative energy - wind, solar, biofuel, algae, etc. The investment will be well worth it when we do not have to see footage of animals covered in oil, their habitats and marshes being destroyed, or more people losing their jobs during these hard economic times.

Volf

Well, I finished the Volf book, The End of Memory: Remembering Rightly in a Violent World, not too long after my last post. I've been so busy that I just have had no time to talk about it.

Volf discusses the importance of the perspectives of others. It's difficult to disseminate what the truth is in many cases, because there can be several truths (pg 46).

We have a "moral obligation" to remember the past truthfully (pg. 51). If we don't remember things correctly, we mess with our self-identity - not to mention the identity of our aggressors. The temptation is great to judge our aggressors and remember their actions as a part of who they are. While this might help us to feel better, it is not entirely fair to our aggressors. Some of them experience their own traumas, leading them to harm us. They are also potentially misremembering us - how we acted, initiated contact and 'asked for it.'

As all survivors of abuse know, memories have a life of their own (pg. 69). They can sneak up and ruin a perfect day just because a light breeze swept a certain smell to your nose. They also influence how we act towards others and react in situations. I mentioned last time that I'm usually very aware of what's happening around me. This tends to pick up when I'm in big cities or places I haven't really been before. Today, I was in Madison for an interview and parked in a garage. I avoided getting into a small elevator with a man. Walking to my car just before noon in a very well lit area, I had my keys in my hand ready to cut someone across the face - you know, just in case. I know that it's completely irrational, but still I can't stop myself.

Volf also points out the problems with inner healing: She will need to develop a sense that the wrongdoing has not closed off her horizon of future possibilities, that it does not define her identity, and that her life continues to have meaning notwithstanding the wrongdoing, possibly even party because of it." (pg. 76). That part definitely gets to be difficult. I believe that my sexual abuse defines part of who I am - not me as a whole, but my experiential self. I react to things differently because of my experiences. I would not say that I am proud of my abuse - obviously that's a stupid way to say it. It might be better to say that I try to not be ashamed of it. I hold myself back based partially in my abuse - I don't really like to be in crowds or with people I don't know.

In the end, this book helped me to learn more about the effects my memory has on the people around me, and the hidden effects it can have on me.